For we must all learn to howl.

Sometimes all it takes is a moment of frustration, anger and hurt for you to understand how much you truly care for someone. He's stubborn, and I'm stubborn... And it's  difficult accepting that someone actually cares about you, the same way that it's difficult accepting how you end up genuinely caring for someone's well-being.  But it happens. It happens, and we just have to figure it out together. So stop being so damned stubborn.

  Head's hurting like a bitch again.

How often have I dreamed of running away, of going someplace where no one knows who I am? Here I sit in the airport - a place of comings and goings, of hellos and goodbyes and I'll miss yous - and I wish I could join those who are going. Everything feels as though it's falling apart all over again - the funny thing was that I'd only just started feeling as though I was stitching things back together into some semblance of repair. Everything burns. The wolves stay on the ground and run, but then they burn too. But the crows, the crows fly away. Who I should be, who I am expected to be, who I was born to be and who I must grow to be. Which one am I? I don't even know any more, but then again I doubt I ever knew to begin with. Does how I act and what I do reflect more on who I'm supposed to be or who I think I am? I can't tell any more. And so I run, I run and I burn. It's when your life starts looking like a Taylor Swift...

Some days your necklace around my neck feels so heavy I fear I might suffocate from its weight - other days it's a source of comfort for me, a little secret encased in this reminder to me that even if I don't know where to turn you'll always be there. What have you done to me? I must insist that you undo this spell that sits heavy in my chest, pulling and tugging and wheedling until I find myself beside you again. I must insist, just like you insist with your eyes and lips and touch and warmth for me to give in - give in to me, stop thinking, let your thoughts go and feel, just feel - and dear god I do. Your scent, your scent is all I can register wrapped around me like your hoodie - your eyes glinting with haze and mischief - your hands, so warm and strong - your voice low and hoarse with our intermingling breaths.  In these moments - I am lost. In these moments - I am found. What have you done? ~ I am not ashamed , I want to scream. I am proud, proud to be wit...

And that's how it works; That's how you got the girl.

Happy New Year, everyone! I can't believe the year has flown by so quickly - it really doesn't feel like 2015 began that long ago. Then again, 2015 was a shit year so I'm kind of glad that we're done with that year and moving on to 2016. Here's hoping 2016 will treat us much better than 2015 did, and with loads of happiness and love. As usual, it wouldn't have been possible to make it through the fuckfest that 2015 was, and I'm really, really glad for the amazing people who stuck around when I needed them most. Circleround: Thank you so much for being the group of weirdos that you are, university really wouldn't be as bearable without you guys. I've always felt that we don't have that much in common, but it's always amazed me how we always come together for the simple reason that we're all friends. Thank you for putting up with my nonsense, and thank you for being there for me when I needed it. I love you nerds, and here'...

I don't miss you. I miss your arms warm around me.  That's only because I'm cold, though. It's not because I miss you. I miss your voice, your touch. That's only because I miss the companionship. It's not you. I curse the slow connection when it renders me unable to see you, hear you. That's only because no one likes a lagging Internet - we live in the 21st century. It has nothing to do with you. I curse the fact that you're so far away only because it means that my own personal routine now has a hole in it - it's annoying, that's all. It's not because I miss you. I don't miss you. Not at all. I do though - I miss you, but I don't like admitting it. No, I don't - I don't miss you. I miss you. I don't, I don't. I do. NO. I want you here. I want you gone. I'm losing my mind. Why are you doing this to me? I need you.