Some Days Are Just Worse Than The Others

I saw some ex-students of the school today, and one of them was Edward's best friend! OMG!! Naturally, I thought that he just might be there too, but no such luck. Sigh, for a moment there I was hoping so badly to be able to see Edward again, but it turns out that I may not even see him anymore :( Oh well..................

Well the mock chinese oral today was horrible. Terrible. BOO. The reading aloud was alright for the first few minutes, then became a total nightmare as I got increasingly tongue-tied. There I was, stumbling over the words as I tried to look confident and read as naturally as possible {which is really tough when you're shaking like a leaf inside}, and the teachers weren't even looking at me!! :( Obviously, I took it as a bad sign, and I guess it kind of made things even worse :( The conversation topic was totally unexpected: It was about plastic surgery. In english, this is no problem for me {even though my english isn't as good as others think}, but in chinese.... Let's just say that I'm digging my own grave.

I remember our tuition teacher discussing this during tuition last week, and when she asked me to contribute to the discussion, I was a nervous wreck. In tuition, I was a nervous wreck. Obviously, this was just as bad. Alright, the whole thing WAS okay, but throughout the whole thing I was mentally screaming, "I can do this in english with my hands tied behind my back and score really well, but I'm hopeless in chinese!!! AAAAAAARGH!!!" The problem is, I have very strong opinions on the topic of plastic surgery, but due to my faltering chinese, I couldn't really get my points across... Sigh. At least this wasn't the actual exam, or else I'd have to kill myself before my mother gets her hands around my neck.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What's Your Patronus?

Image
What's a patronus? According to Professor Lupin, it "is a kind of Anti-Dementor - a guardian which acts as a shield between you and the Dementor". It basically conjures an incarnation of the caster's innermost positive feelings, such as joy or hope, and is a weapon rather than a predator of souls. Patronuses shield their conjurors from Dementors, and can even drive them away. They can also be used to send messages. Well. I've always wondered what my patronus would be. Once upon a long-ass time ago when I was in Primary School, I'd have said that my patronus was a dog, mostly because my favourite animal back then was a dog (of course, that was way before I realised exactly how awkward I am around animals). Then a few years after that when I was in Secondary School, I would have said that my patronus was a tortoise or a turtle, for reasons that I'd prefer not to say. And then after I graduated from NAS, I asked myself again what my patronus co...
Read more

Red.

Image
I always dye my hair red - I started dyeing it two years ago after I completed my internship because I felt that it was time, I was ready, and I haven't dyed it a different colour ever since. Of course, constant dye jobs do nothing for the hair, which is why I allowed mum to nag me into doing a henna job on my hair instead of the usual bright red I ask of the hairstylist. The result is that my hair now looks orangey instead of red, which is what I expected but nevertheless found myself incredibly disappointed with. (The irony is that I never have such complaints about my hair colour whenever my red fades to orange within the first two weeks of the fresh dye.) Tsuki-kun told me that he felt the orange suited me better since the red was too bright, but I can't quite bring myself to agree with him. See, the thing about red is that I chose the colour myself - it was the colour I was absolutely sure that I wanted for myself, and I never regretted the colour. Sur...
Read more

Break The Mirror. Please.

Image
I don't want to look at myself in the mirror anymore. I don't want to see my reflection, I don't want to see that ugly girl staring back at me. Those pleading eyes. She wants me to do something, anything, just so she doesn't look so ugly. She's fat and ugly. Hideous, both inside and outside. All she wants is to stop thinking. Because every time she does, the knife inches ever closer to her heart. She will never be as perfect as her . She just wants to stop looking. Shut up. Just shut up. Stop comparing. I know I'm ugly. Stop thinking. Leave me alone! She wants to stop seeing all the fat bits, all the wobbly jiggly bits that she aches to just cut off. Just grab a knife and slice them all off and she won't be so FAT . She won't be so UGLY . She just wants to kill herself. Please?
Read more