'Fessing Up

OMG, I 'fessed to my mom about 'Edward'! I mean, I'd been meaning to for quite some time now, so I guess it didn't come as much of a surprise.

The confession wasn't as difficult as I'd imagined it to be. Of course, it wasn't as though I was confessing to 'Edward', because that would have been impossible. Having been rejected by previous crushes twice {I know it may not be much, but still}, it's gotten practically impossible for me to act natural around guys, and also to confess. Sigh, it's a fear I may never get over... When one of my friends asked me if there'd be any chance of me letting 'Edward' know how I feel after the 'O' levels, all I could tell her was, "I don't know." Man, I'm such a chicken :(

Okay, that point aside, I told my mom about how I feel about 'Edward', and she totally shocked me by saying that she'd known about it all along, and that she approved of him {and my liking him} anyway! She even jokingly called him her 'future son-in-law', which made me feel very awkward. She didn't call him that to his face, of course {I would have died from the embarrassment}, but hey, she likes him. That's good, I guess, since this is the first time she's actually liked a crush of mine {that I've told her about}. I've always been rather wary of telling my mom about my crushes, espcially after she criticised my first crush. I mean, having your crush called a sissy by your mom kinda hurts. Ouch. So, this is kind of my second time actually telling her that I'm having a crush on someone.

Although I no longer have to worry about fangirling over 'Edward' in front of my mom, it doesn't mean that I'll be confessing to him anytime soon. The last time I told my best guy friend about 'Edward', he encouraged me to ask 'Edward' out. I immediately refused to, for quite a few unsaid reasons.

1. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to tell him :(
2. Why should I confess to someone who doesn't like me that way? It's not as though I actually like getting my heart ripped into pieces.
3. If (and when) I get rejected, I can kiss buh-bye to my friendship with him.

So everything boils down to my being a complete coward. I didn't tell my guy bestie about all this, cos I didn't want to piss him off with my whining {I have a feeling that I seem to piss people off easily}. Sigh. :(

Ciao.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2010 at 7:03 PM

    YO! Don't think so negatively, I look forward to a happy post! :D

    ReplyDelete

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