For we must all learn to howl.

I don't usually look at Tom Cruise cos I'm not a huge fan (except for MI2 when he was hot as hell ), but this picture. I cannot maintain ughhhhhhhhhh. Melting sigh. And Ezra Miller, who played Patrick in Perks. Eat your heart out, Jo. ;))) DISCLAIMER: As far as fangirling goes, any and all guys are available for fangirling over ESPECIALLY if they are celebs. Therefore I feel no guilt in fangirling over other celeb guys cos it's still Kazuki Kato I go back to. This. Guy. Is. PERFECT. This is one of my many favourite songs by him. Enjoy! ^^

Head pounding Scratchy throat Runny nose. Voice? What voice? I sound like a dying cow. Thank kami there's no fever. Oh now the light-headedness begins it's like I'm swimming in air or something but my feet remain on the ground. Strange. I swallow pills, drink herbal concoctions but I'm not very much better. Sigh. Stupid ulcer making everything a thousand times worse. I can't eat, not only cos of my lack of appetite but also because of the pain. At least it's fading. Thank kami for that. Oh well, they do say that falling sick helps with losing weight. So maybe I'll sound like a cow, but I won't look like one. Meh. Today was uneventful, what with me coughing and sniffing during class. Sorry, everyone. And then after class everyone disappears, save for the last person on earth I want to talk to. Fuck. "Are you okay?" Those three words I so loathe. All because of you...

1, 2, Sae's coming for you. 3, 4, She's knocking at your door. 5, 6, Blood-streaked face. 7, 8, Accept your fate. 9, 10, Dead again.

It is 1:23AM and I need to sleep. GO TO SLEEP, NAT. Meh.

The night air is still, silent save for the odd taxi or car or bus that speeds past the window. They get noisy, but it is a small price to pay to be able to see the open sky right outside the room. One turn to the left from the desk and the calming black skies are there. A gentle breeze blows, shifting the tendrils of hair that escape from the messy bun made when the length became too much of a hassle to deal with. The laptop that sits on the side of the desk plays music, a sweetly cheerful Japanese song. It’s Kazuki Kato again, singing with his heart and begging in the song for the listener or some mysterious lover of his to stay by his side. Then the song ends and immediately starts on a darker-sounding song. This time he’s a vampire, crooning about the desire he feels to corrupt the innocence of his victim. It’s a quiet night, and the remains of film theory notes lay scattered on the desk. An old notebook filled with messily elongated handwriting lies open, baring its secret...

Well, a new semester has started, and with a new semester comes a new timetable and the obligatory post about my subjects for the semester. (I'm sorry if I sound or seem dead in the way I'm writing, but I'm strangely tired - I can barely keep my eyes open, actually...) Here are my subjects: Cross-Cultural Communication (CrossCult) Multimedia & Electronic Publishing (Multimed) Film Theory & Criticism Radio Studio & Production Multi-Camera Studio Production (Multicam) Introduction to Language & Culture (Japanese) Crosscult seems promising, really, but we're taking bets that it'll be the BMR of this semester... As for Multimed, it sounds like it'll be a bit like Marketing and Medsoc from sem 1.1 combined. Film... Yeah, I've been looking forward to that :) Radio sounds amazing (though I just hope I'll do okay compared to all the other amazing people in the course who are made  for radio, like a certain dude who's in my class....

Once upon a time, dear reader, there was a little town nestled deep into the mountains. In that town, there were many quaint traditions and beliefs, one of which was that the number thirteen was considered lucky. On special occasions, the church bells would toll thirteen times, and the townspeople would ask for good luck and blessings. In that town, there was a boy, and there was a girl. They were childhood friends, and had spent many a summer afternoon staging mock sword-fights, as well as many autumn days when they went hunting for chestnuts. The boy did not know it, but the girl was very much in love with him, although she was much too shy to reveal her feelings to him. So, the boy remained unknowing and the girl continued to keep her secret. Many years went by; the girl had grown into a young lady who was expected to learn to cook and sew and conduct herself like a proper young lady should, and the boy had forgotten all about his friend, the one person he had once promised was ...

Mood swinging pretty badly right now sigh. But even though I'm alternating between wanting to cry, rage and kill myself, these two thoughts are clear in my mind. Nakushita-kun. When nobody gave a fuck about you, I was there. When you felt so betrayed because of her, I was there. I was the first person you'd run to, for help or a comforting word or a whack across the head when you needed it. You promised me you'd be there for me. You promised you wouldn't leave like everyone else. You. Fucking. PROMISED. When I needed you, where the hell were you? When I was crying in my room, where were you? Having fun with your new girlfriend. Having the time of your life with your "dar". I was the one who had to pull myself back up, bit by agonising bit. I fell. I cried. I suffered. But I made it. And I promised myself I'd never need you again. I promised myself I'd never need anyone except for my sisters. It seems fate ...

It's a lazy, rainy Sunday afternoon and I've finished with my chores for now (praise the marshmallows!) so here's a sweet song that suits my mood for today :) The PV is from Koikyokusei, by the way. The song name is Suki Desu (I like - literal translation), sung by Thelma Aoyama.

I genuinely want to find this movie, but it's insanely difficult to find it cos it was released in 2009, and it was a pretty small movie, and I can't find anything with english subs. Sigh.

Everyone knows a few celebrities. You'd be a fool if you said that you didn't know at least a few, and an even bigger fool (not to mention complete liar) if you said that you didn't admire/envy/lust over a celebrity or two. I've followed a few celebrities (not in the sense of those extreme fangirls, I just admire them and when I hear about them, I feel happy. That's all.) and well, I wanted to share a bit about the celebs I admire. Oh screw that, I wanted to share who my celeb crushes were ;) BOYS Jesse McCartney, back when he was still rocking the really cute boy-next-door-let-me-charm-you-with-my-slightly-shy-very-cute-smile look. I was slightly nuts about him in primary school hehe. But I don't like him that much now ever since he looked like this: Um, ew. You cannot possibly expect me to love LP without loving ChesterB. The dude is married but who cares, a fangirl can still look hehe. I mean seriously, he's not bad-looking! :) ...

Basically went on an LP spree. LP COME TO SINGAPORE AGAIN PLS I WILL SAVE UP FOR THAT TICKET EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. NOTE: Even though I think that Living Things is extremely tame and that it's really sad how the boys seem to have lost their anger that they showed so amazingly at the start of LP, I also think that they've matured , and that now they're not boys, they're men. I feel that even though I'm only 18, it feels like I (and so many other LP fans around the world) have watched them grow up. It just saddens me a bit that their music started out being non-radio-friendly (can you imagine the radio playing Qwerty or Faint? I can't.) to every single song on the Living Things album being radio-friendly (except for Victimized, maybe...). It's a small complaint of mine, but it just feels weird to listen to a whole LP album (that's only 30 minutes long, kinda disappointing) and realise that there isn't any swearing to be found in the whole al...

This song is so perfect. LYRICS (ROMAJI): konna ni no tooku e futari wa kiteshimatte ano koro no osanai kimi no hohoemi ni mou kaerenai ne kimi ga warau sekai de suki de soba ni itai sore dake wasurekaketa itami mou mune ni time goes by toki no nagare wa futari o kaetteyuku keredo nakushita mono mo yume miru mono mo sono te o totte omoidasu yo itsumo kimi no soba de kanashii koto sae oboeteokitai kara kimi no chizu ni watashi o tame no peeji o nokoshiteoite ne mirai kara fukitsukeru kaze o kimi wa ano hi shinjita ashita wa motto takaku maiagare time goes by toki ga sugitemo kitto kawareru mono ga aru no todokanai kara mitsuketai kara yume no tsubasa wo sagashi ni yuku soba ni ite ne zutto time goes by toki no nagare wa futari o kaetteyuku keredo nakushita mono mo yume miru mono mo sono te o totte omoidasu yo (la la la la la la...) time goes by toki ga sugitemo kitto kawareru mono ga aru no todokanai kara mitsuketai kara yume no tsubasa wo sagashi ...

I can't believe how perfect he is.

I don't want to look at myself in the mirror anymore. I don't want to see my reflection, I don't want to see that ugly girl staring back at me. Those pleading eyes. She wants me to do something, anything, just so she doesn't look so ugly. She's fat and ugly. Hideous, both inside and outside. All she wants is to stop thinking. Because every time she does, the knife inches ever closer to her heart. She will never be as perfect as her . She just wants to stop looking. Shut up. Just shut up. Stop comparing. I know I'm ugly. Stop thinking. Leave me alone! She wants to stop seeing all the fat bits, all the wobbly jiggly bits that she aches to just cut off. Just grab a knife and slice them all off and she won't be so FAT . She won't be so UGLY . She just wants to kill herself. Please?

Which one are you guilty of? I don't own the pictures, they're not mine. All I did was change the effects on the pictures is all. I don't like to admit it, but if Jealousy was one of the 7, I'd be extremely guilty of it. It's been plaguing me all day. And if Self-Loathing was one of them, I'd never be able to break free of that sin. I think Wrath looks especially beautiful.

I CAN'T GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD. ESPECIALLY THE PRELUDE.

What's a patronus? According to Professor Lupin, it "is a kind of Anti-Dementor - a guardian which acts as a shield between you and the Dementor". It basically conjures an incarnation of the caster's innermost positive feelings, such as joy or hope, and is a weapon rather than a predator of souls. Patronuses shield their conjurors from Dementors, and can even drive them away. They can also be used to send messages. Well. I've always wondered what my patronus would be. Once upon a long-ass time ago when I was in Primary School, I'd have said that my patronus was a dog, mostly because my favourite animal back then was a dog (of course, that was way before I realised exactly how awkward I am around animals). Then a few years after that when I was in Secondary School, I would have said that my patronus was a tortoise or a turtle, for reasons that I'd prefer not to say. And then after I graduated from NAS, I asked myself again what my patronus co...

I went back to the Harry Potter Exhibition, with Xinyi this time. Yes, I had to get that out, make it clear. You see, I'm not feeling too well at this moment. Pounding head, bunged-up nose, the whole nine yards (I never really understood that phrase) and the icing on this extremely fattening cake is that I have lost my voice. Seriously, when I force myself to croak something out that vaguely resembles human speech I sound like a guy. Sexy husky voice and all. =.=" BUT before I digress (again!) I had to talk about the HP Exhibition before I forgot all about it! Yes, I went with Xinyi, on one of the rare days that we got to meet up (she's in JC, I'm in poly, when she has holidays I don't and vice versa). It was good to meet up with her again, especially after so long, and as always, we made sure to wear something nice when we met up! We hardly ever get to meet up so when we do, we always make sure that we wear something (think dresses or skirts) and put makeup...

It says so much that I can't. I still don't know what I did to make you so upset. So tell me. Please.