For we must all learn to howl.

Once upon a time there was a boy who stole a set of keys. He didn't know what the keys were for, he just stole them. But they were very important to this little girl, and honestly she wouldn't have given them to anyone at all, but he stole them. He took them from her when she wasn't looking, and now she was lost. What was worst was that he had no idea exactly how important those keys were to the girl, but he just took them and pocketed them. But what he didn't know was that those were the keys to her heart. Please don't leave me hanging. It hurts, and I don't know what to do.

Looking at my old pieces and feeling sad again. It's disappointing how I seem to have slowly given up on writing. All my emotions, all my thoughts... I can no longer fully express them in words. Or maybe I still can, but have forgotten how. What do I do, now that I've forgotten the one thing that defined me?

I literally JUST watched this today, and fangirled so hard that I fucking CRIED. I have nothing else to say. Give me about a month to regain some sense of normalcy. Nicholas Hoult, fuck you. How is it that even as a zombie you're still so fucking hot?! One thing to credit the director for - he really knows what the audience is looking for. Kudos to him cos girls all over the world will be thanking him for it.

So last night was the Dramatec Oscars. We all dressed up (with the exception of Ong father and son - they were mostly definitely the nominees for the Most Underdressed award, haha!!) and came to have a good time with food and music and friends. Pizza was ordered in (I think I saw 5 or 6 boxes - yep that's how a group of hungry teenage thespians can eat!) and there were drinks. There was also a photobooth for everyone to take pictures and goof off - we had a TWCT staff photo and even a Team Eulogy picture taken (sans Suzette, who left the drama club pretty soon after Performing Words). Hopefully these pictures will be uploaded to Facebook soon so I can share them on this blog :) We also had Don't Forget The Lyrics, although that soon became a game where EVERYONE participated in - literally everyone was singing anyway so it didn't really matter as long as everyone had fun. And after the games was the bit that everyone was waiting for: The awards. Everyone got an award...

I just wish I could run away from all this, from you. Why is it that a crush can take up so much of my time, can occupy my mind so much? Even while trying not to think of you, I’m still thinking of you. I’d run away from you if I could, but the thing is that I wouldn’t. And that’s the worst part of having a crush on someone - you can have every option to leave, but you won’t and you know it. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, not since Rikugame-kun, not since my secondary school days. This mix of giddy happiness and bitter longing, this heaviness in my heart that makes me want to both laugh and cry at the same time. It’s been a long while.

God it's been too fucking long since I came up to this blog again. *blows dust off blog* Well hello all, I'm back again and ready to blog and write and tweet and do all the shit that I was planning to do since the exams were over. The exams are over, and frankly speaking I'm not sure how I did. I'm not sure I even want to know, but the results are out this Thursday, and well... I'll just be glad that I did my best no matter what. Sigh. I prolly won't even be able to reach my goals for this semester though. TWCT was, well... Magical. Everything we worked for, everything we cried, laughed, fought (more argued) for... Everything we threw around - ideas, props, costumes, insults... Whatever. It all boiled down to that one night when everything came into place. I'd been so worried about the production because only 2 days from opening night saw me still struggling to master my costume changes, still messing up my lines, still unable to fully connect wi...

Today's the day when we perform TWCT. Those Who Can't, Teach. (That's for those of you who don't know what TWCT is supposed to stand for) What can I say? I'm nervous. Nervous because it's my first time as the lead role. Nervous because the thought of failure is still in my mind. We've practiced so hard and gone through so much, too. We've laughed, cried, swore the bitterest of curses and asked one another exactly what we were supposed to achieve as our characters. All our hours of practice, all the days we spent sitting around discussing blocking and costumes and the idea of whether we should use props or not... It all boils down to tonight. I didn't sleep well last night. My dreams were filled with leering faces and writhing shadows full of twisted intent. I was running from something, hiding in fear that whatever it was would find me. All my supposed friends became people I didn't recognize. They all changed, and I found myself...

Dear Mrs Phua... I think I'm trying to understand you a bit more every day. You're a character who's so normal , yet so difficult to portray. You're not like any of the usual characters I chase after - in fact, I didn't even like you the first time I saw you, when I read your lines in the script. You just seemed like an ordinary middle-aged teacher, with a huge stick up her ass. God, how wrong I was. It's only now, after reading more about you and your thoughts, after trying to understand your emotions, that I start to see. You're so much more than just a boring, stuffy old teacher. You're a mother, a daughter, a friend, a teacher, a person struggling to survive and keep her passion for teaching when everyone else around her is showing her that passion means nothing in a school. You're a person fighting to save one boy from destroying himself, though you don't realise that you're still destroying him in a different way. I'm trying...