For we must all learn to howl.

Although I said we’d never part, that you would always be in my heart, We come to realize Fate gets her way and so to you now I must say: “Adios, mi amor; Goodbye, my love.” And as you turn to look at me, your eyes fill up with tears. “How could we part?” you ask of me. “I’ve loved you from the start.” “Adios, mi amor; Goodbye, my love.” is all that I can say. “My time on this earth is short; I’ll soon be on my way.” Ten years I’ve lain on this deathbed, and still you’ve loved me so. My candle flickers; it’s time to go. “Adios, mi amor.”

Yeah, I guess this is true. I seem to be posting on my blog more often than I actually take the time to write in my diary. I can't really help it - it's just way too convenient to blog instead of write... Sigh but now I have way too many empty notebooks in my room. XD Oh, for CW this week I need to bring a picture that's significant to me. And I have absolutely nothing. The first picture that popped into my mind when the tutor said we needed such a picture was that I had a picture I took with Rikugame-kun back in secondary school, but I quickly pushed that thought away. I didn't quite need for myself to have a complete breakdown in class, thanks very much. I have a nice photo of my dad and I when we went to Hokkaido for the first time, but what could I possibly say? "This was me when I was in P5, yes, still no change from how I look now, and that's my dad. We look really close, because we were, but then we're not close anymore." Yeah, fun much. ...

I tend the mobile now like an injured bird. We text, text, text our significant words. I re-read your first, your second, your third. look for your small xx, feeling absurd. The codes we send arrive with a broken chord. I try to picture your hands, their image is blurred. Nothing my thumbs press will ever be heard. We read this poem during last week's CW tutorial, and honestly as I read the poem I found my head inching closer and closer to the desk in an effort to conceal the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes. When our tutor asked the class for an opinion, asking what we felt about the poem, I busied myself by taking notes, by writing my thoughts on the poem and what Carol Ann Duffy could possibly have meant with what she wrote. Here are my thoughts: " I tend the mobile now like an injured bird. " She's constantly checking her phone, "tending" to it, and probably likens it to an injured bird because she's treati...

Rikugame-kun is no more. This is one sentence that looks so simple, yet took me a grand total of 10 minutes to type out because I couldn't bring myself to do it. For those of you who might be confused, I'd better explain. I just found out yesterday that Rikugame-kun has a girlfriend, and that they've been together since this year. Can you hear my heart shatter? Can you feel it crack and slowly break into pieces as you read this? I hardly think that I'm being overdramatic, because this is literally how I feel. I feel like an icy-cold knife has been plunged into my heart and then twisted. I can barely breathe. I saw his pictures on Facebook yesterday, and that was when my heart stopped. That was when I asked Xinyi to help me check, because she knows who Rikugame-kun is and also knows Facebook better than I do. So she confirmed what I saw. Whoever said that ignorance was bliss really had it right. I wish I'd never seen those photos, I wish I'd never ...

Ask and you shall receive. Is that not what is said? I’d asked my question, and I’d waited for my answer. I guess, now… I have no choice. I was expecting this day to come, and yet… And yet, I am unprepared. I was unprepared for the knife that stabbed through my heart, For the dagger that twisted so and shattered me inside. I thought I would be fine, until I glanced at the photos of you. No one could have controlled the tears that fell unbidden from my eyes, as I drank in the sight of you and her so happy, so content. So in love. The wolf whispered that I didn’t deserve him, but those words filled my heart with pain. How can I erase someone who has been all that I thought of for four years now?

It's over. I'm done. Four years of my life, wasted. But you know what's the worst thing? I can't cry. No matter how much I want to, I can't cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BcitFA8kcA I love this song, and Kimeru is such an amazing person. He's so flawless it's almost painful watching him. I can't help but fangirl over this video, again and again and again! He's so sexy, sigh~~~ And the meaning in this song touches me so much that I'm crying again. I seem to be doing that a lot now, huh. [Japanese] Dakishimeta omoi ga ai ni naru yo ni Ochiteyuku hoshi no hayasa ni ude wo nobashite Isso setsunaku kimi dakedo kizutsukinagara Miageta hoshizora wa furisosoide Butsukariau kokoro made isogashii machi Soba ni itemo hanareru kata Deatta koto ga konna ni sabishii nara Ima bokura wa hakanai netsu Karametemo kogoeteru yubisaki ga Eien wo tsukamezu tachisukusu Dakishimeta omoi ga ai ni naru yo ni Ochiteyuku hoshi no hayasa ni ude wo nobashite Isso setsunaku kimi dakedo kizutsukinagara Miageta hoshizora wa furisosoide Kaketa kimochi wa soko kara miroku natte Suna ...