For we must all learn to howl.

How best to put this, I wonder... If anything at all, this is just one of those random posts that I write and share with no explanation other than the confession that it's been on my mind an awful lot the past few days and I needed to scribble this down somewhere so I could stop mulling it over again and again. You know how people always ask you what you look for in a significant other? I used to come up with a long list of qualities and characters traits I thought I wanted to find when I was younger, and it always used to paint an all-in-all perfect picture of what I thought was my "ideal" person. It's funny how your answers always change as you grow up - not unexpected, but also refreshingly surprising when you compare what you say now to what you would have said back then. I'd stopped thinking about that question until a year ago, when I dated this one guy. Granted, it was only one date and we broke things off after that, but we did have rather interestin...

I think whoever it was who first described Jealousy as green both understood it too well and yet not at all. Jealousy is green - green is youthful, full of energy... And at the same time incredibly childish. On the whole, Jealousy is so much more than that. Jealousy is red  - it's blind rage, a fire threatening to consume you as you catch yourself wondering if he's seeing someone else. It's possessive, wanting him only to yourself - it's dangerously heady. Jealousy is blue  - it's you feeling as though you're not good enough for him, wondering if he looks at other people and wishing you could be like those other people. It's you telling yourself you don't deserve him, you never will, and it's you telling yourself (and hating yourself all the more for it) that he should be with someone else because they fit better. Green  is when he sulks because you can't go to dinner with him. Red  is crazy, stupid impulse - the ones you push down a...

Yes, I'm a bitch. The thing is, I don't see what's so wrong with that if I'm actually asking a valid question. So there's no need to talk down to that, thanks. Am I to feel weird for asking a question you define as "journalistic"?

Tell me about him, she says. Hesitation. An open mouth that falls silent. So many emotions blurring into one, but nothing to say. Would it be better to share thoughts instead of words? 26 letters are not enough. How does one share a shaky grin, a breath released in private? A nervous giggle when scrolling through messages The slightly exasperated understanding everyone else exudes Ah, yes. Look at that face. Look at that girl. Bright eyes, crooked smile - you know what you're looking at. She's in love   infatuated . Tell me about him, she says. I laugh, hesitate, comb my fingers through my hair. I'm not sure what to say, I say. Let's wait till the next date.

Took the bus home from school again - it's been a long time since I allowed myself the close-to-two-hour-long journey, what with the usual rush home or to some other destination if I'm not hanging out with the CircleRound nerds. I'd truly forgotten how nice it was to turn up the music and just drift for a long while - it was so comforting to experience that feeling of being lost in a familiar place again, to recognise the place around me but not know my bearings should I get off the bus. I wondered in the bus if this was a small space of happiness, to be able to sit in a freezing-cold bus and watch everything or drift off to sleep with slow easy songs as the bus trundles down along the roads and streets. Singapore's too small for any of us to find ourselves truly lost, but perhaps the magic of a long bus ride lies in the feeling of being almost  lost. 8Tracks : Hot Tea Would Be Nice

Had a long chat with a friend today - it's an interesting dynamic between us because we don't usually have much to talk about, which means that when we do talk it's always about the really personal stuff. It's weird, because frankly speaking we don't know much about each other except for the little random bits that we somehow deem significant enough to share. I like listening to him talk, and he says the same for me (although I don't talk much). It's frighteningly easy to let go and talk about the most personal things, and I'm always afraid, always on edge because seriously now how much is too much to share? How personal is too personal? I'm afraid because whenever I find someone I trust enough to share all this, I don't know how to hold back or stop simply because I'm so happy, so relieved  to have someone who's willing to listen and not judge. Humans are gullible creatures, after all. How do we separate a well-told lie from the tr...

This picture is self-explanatory: the New Year has passed and it's finally 2015 - I hope everyone had a great celebration, be it with friends or family or on your own. None of that "new year, new me" nonsense, but let's make 2015 a great year! So much has happened in 2014, and Tish suggested I list down all the significant things that happened in the past year because well, it's nice to look back at all the stuff that's happened. Celebrated the New Year with friends for the first time That huge fight with Tish Bandung trip with CMM peeps Graduated from TP Got accepted into PSB (and made friends with a whole new bunch of crazy people) Aoi-kun (the biggest fuckup I've ever made, and the biggest lesson I had to learn in 2014 - he really broke me) BUT I'm glad I've finally made and kept to my decision to move the fuck on Tried cosplay for the first time with Kira That trip to Japan with dad Met and made new friends online (and I'm ...