Ignoring Weakness
I'm know that I need to blog about something, anything, because this blog is really, really dead.
But I don't know what I want to blog about. Sigh.
What could I say about my life? Nothing interesting is happening, unless you think that me running every once in a while is fascinating. Mother dearest doesn't like the idea of me going for a morning run in the park, though. It's too dangerous, she says, it's too quiet. Funny because it's the quiet of the park that I'm looking for. I'm insanely weird in the sense that I don't quite like the idea of others seeing exactly how out of shape I am, especially since my stamina is currently somewhere along the 18 levels of hell. Call me vain, call me self-conscious. Whatever. Plus, it's when you're running in the early morning, when the air is still cool against your skin, and the delicious silence is all that surrounds you save for the buzzing of the cicadas, to me, that's perfection.
But since I am not allowed to go to the park (curse the marshmallows!), I have to compromise. To the gym I go! Or should I say, to the gym in the sports centre near my house I go. I have to pay $1.50 for a ticket to use the gym's facilities (I only use the treadmill so far - I'm only interested in running), but I guess that's pretty okay by me. As long as I get to run, whatever is fine. And it's nice to talk to the people behind the counter in the gym.
I think I'm doing pretty okay for someone who hasn't run in two years (read: ever since we stopped our NAPFA in Ngee Ann for the O levels), but I don't think I'm doing good enough. However, one thing I'm proud of is that when I run, I literally run without stopping. That's what I love about the treadmill - it forces you to run, and run, and then run some more, even though everything in you is screaming for you to stop. I love that it forces you to block everything else out and run without stopping for the amount of time left on the timer.
One big problem I face is that I don't like myself showing weakness. I hate appearing weak to people, even when I'm scared to bits or I don't think I can continue with whatever it is that I'm doing. And when I run in the gym, I just love how running on the treadmill forces me to push my weakness aside, to ignore it and focus on nothing else but the feel of running, and the music I'm listening to when I run.
But I don't know what I want to blog about. Sigh.
What could I say about my life? Nothing interesting is happening, unless you think that me running every once in a while is fascinating. Mother dearest doesn't like the idea of me going for a morning run in the park, though. It's too dangerous, she says, it's too quiet. Funny because it's the quiet of the park that I'm looking for. I'm insanely weird in the sense that I don't quite like the idea of others seeing exactly how out of shape I am, especially since my stamina is currently somewhere along the 18 levels of hell. Call me vain, call me self-conscious. Whatever. Plus, it's when you're running in the early morning, when the air is still cool against your skin, and the delicious silence is all that surrounds you save for the buzzing of the cicadas, to me, that's perfection.
But since I am not allowed to go to the park (curse the marshmallows!), I have to compromise. To the gym I go! Or should I say, to the gym in the sports centre near my house I go. I have to pay $1.50 for a ticket to use the gym's facilities (I only use the treadmill so far - I'm only interested in running), but I guess that's pretty okay by me. As long as I get to run, whatever is fine. And it's nice to talk to the people behind the counter in the gym.
I think I'm doing pretty okay for someone who hasn't run in two years (read: ever since we stopped our NAPFA in Ngee Ann for the O levels), but I don't think I'm doing good enough. However, one thing I'm proud of is that when I run, I literally run without stopping. That's what I love about the treadmill - it forces you to run, and run, and then run some more, even though everything in you is screaming for you to stop. I love that it forces you to block everything else out and run without stopping for the amount of time left on the timer.
One big problem I face is that I don't like myself showing weakness. I hate appearing weak to people, even when I'm scared to bits or I don't think I can continue with whatever it is that I'm doing. And when I run in the gym, I just love how running on the treadmill forces me to push my weakness aside, to ignore it and focus on nothing else but the feel of running, and the music I'm listening to when I run.
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