Break The Mirror. Please.

I don't want to look at myself in the mirror anymore.
I don't want to see my reflection,
I don't want to see that ugly girl staring back at me.
Those pleading eyes.
She wants me to do something, anything,
just so she doesn't look so ugly.

She's fat and ugly.
Hideous, both inside and outside.
All she wants is to stop thinking.
Because every time she does,
the knife inches ever closer to her heart.
She will never be as perfect as her.

She just wants to stop looking.
Shut up. Just shut up.
Stop comparing.
I know I'm ugly.
Stop thinking.
Leave me alone!

She wants to stop seeing all the fat bits,
all the wobbly jiggly bits that she aches
to just cut off.
Just grab a knife and slice them all off
and she won't be so FAT.
She won't be so UGLY.

She just wants to kill herself.
Please?


Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 9, 2012 at 6:34 PM

    Please do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SiegiusOctober 10, 2012 at 12:55 AM

    Please don't. You're not ugly, you're not fat. There are people in your life that care about you, they love you just the way you are. If you don't want to look in the mirror, then stop. Look at the people in your life then. Hear it from them. How they love you just the way you are. How you're just right in their eyes. Inside and out. How they never want you to change cuz you're the person they came to know and love. Flaws and everything. Please don't do anything to yourself just because you feel dissatisfied with your looks. You are beautiful, you just need to find it in yourself to see it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CyanideOctober 10, 2012 at 11:12 PM

      Thank you so much. I was in a really bad state when I wrote this, so... Let's hope I'll never show such a side again.

      Delete
    2. SiegiusOctober 11, 2012 at 12:06 AM

      There are people in your life that care dearly for you, talk to them and let them remind just how much you mean to them and how beautiful you are, inside and out. I'm sure there are people you know who will be there for you no matter what, so remember them when you feel like this. They will help remind you how beautiful you are. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone. You're in a league all your own. I know there are people in your life who can see that. They see the most attractive people in the world on TV and such and still can honestly say they think you're beautiful, because you are :)

      Delete
  3. XinyiOctober 10, 2012 at 1:49 AM

    You biotch!You are fucking beautiful,if you dont know. Even James blunt agrees!"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL IT'S TRUE".Sorry bad joke -_- Ppl tell you otherwise coz they're secretly jealous ;) And theyll deny with all their might and tell you to die instead so the competition won't be so great. Abt the fat part...well,you can never find a girl who wont complain abt this,so lets all be fat together or die trying to exercise xD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CyanideOctober 10, 2012 at 11:13 PM

      I vote dying trying to exercise. :)
      And thank you so much, I was really screwed up when I wrote this.. Let's hope I won't ever post stuff like this again.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What's Your Patronus?

Image
What's a patronus? According to Professor Lupin, it "is a kind of Anti-Dementor - a guardian which acts as a shield between you and the Dementor". It basically conjures an incarnation of the caster's innermost positive feelings, such as joy or hope, and is a weapon rather than a predator of souls. Patronuses shield their conjurors from Dementors, and can even drive them away. They can also be used to send messages. Well. I've always wondered what my patronus would be. Once upon a long-ass time ago when I was in Primary School, I'd have said that my patronus was a dog, mostly because my favourite animal back then was a dog (of course, that was way before I realised exactly how awkward I am around animals). Then a few years after that when I was in Secondary School, I would have said that my patronus was a tortoise or a turtle, for reasons that I'd prefer not to say. And then after I graduated from NAS, I asked myself again what my patronus co...
Read more

Red.

Image
I always dye my hair red - I started dyeing it two years ago after I completed my internship because I felt that it was time, I was ready, and I haven't dyed it a different colour ever since. Of course, constant dye jobs do nothing for the hair, which is why I allowed mum to nag me into doing a henna job on my hair instead of the usual bright red I ask of the hairstylist. The result is that my hair now looks orangey instead of red, which is what I expected but nevertheless found myself incredibly disappointed with. (The irony is that I never have such complaints about my hair colour whenever my red fades to orange within the first two weeks of the fresh dye.) Tsuki-kun told me that he felt the orange suited me better since the red was too bright, but I can't quite bring myself to agree with him. See, the thing about red is that I chose the colour myself - it was the colour I was absolutely sure that I wanted for myself, and I never regretted the colour. Sur...
Read more