Wrong or Right
Today was a pretty bad day for me, which I suppose is pretty normal as far as Mondays go. I went to the office feeling pretty okay, but then was told by my colleague that I was supposed to be at an event today, at that very moment.
I thought she was joking, but nope she definitely wasn't. I apologised (after silently freaking for about 45 minutes because I was so scared and I didn't know what to do because WHO ON EARTH FORGETS TO GO FOR AN EVENT and I just had to be the first person who had to make such a stupid mistake. I spent the rest of the day moping, and felt even worse when it was a slow news day and I couldn't find any news. Way to go to feel even more useless.
When the day was over and done, I pretty much dragged myself all the way to the train station, I was that tired. Music on full blast was basically the only way I was keeping myself upright and walking then.
And in the train, I was happy to zone out, because my stop was all the way at the other end of the train line and I didn't mind the chance to blank out and let my thoughts drift for an hour or so.
It was then that I saw him.
He looked just like any other guy my age, with a dirty backpack and textbook. From the looks of it, he was on his way home from tuition class.
And he was drinking from a can of green tea.
Now that just really pissed me off, because it's a rule here - you're not supposed to eat or drink in the train. Yes, it's a strict rule, but it has logic because with food and drinks comes the problem of people littering. And I really doubt we want our clean, air-conditioned trains to have rubbish and dirty cans or food wrappers strewn around. There's a fine of $500 if you get caught eating or drinking in the train - like I said, it's that strict.
I walked up to the guy and told him to stop drinking because he would get fined for it. And he wasn't happy about it, but he did stop drinking even if he kept staring at me.
I decided to just let it be if he was staring at me. Sure, he wasn't happy that he got called out by a total stranger (and someone smaller than him, no less) and wanted to express it by glaring. I just glared right back (hey, I'd had a bad day and totally deserved to express my unhappiness too).
I told my dad about the incident afterwards, hoping to hear his thoughts on the subject, maybe even a bit of approval from him that I did the right thing (I know I did the right thing, but hell it's still good to hear some affirmation sometimes).
He yelled at me.
He said that what I did was stupid, that the guy could have attacked me, yada yada yada. I wasn't happy, because hey, I did something right and I fully intended to justify it. I asked him what he would have done.
He said he would just kept his mouth shut, because someone else would have told the guy off.
Now that pissed me off even more, and saddened me too.
What's this "let someone else do it" mentality for?
I won't stand up for what's right, because someone else will do it for me?
So what happens if everyone does this?
"Someone's being attacked! Never mind, I don't need to help, someone else will do it."
"I'm being attacked! I shouldn't try to defend myself, someone will come save me for sure."
"Education? Why should I have to study hard? Someone will take care of me for sure."
Why do we feel the need to foist the responsibility onto someone else's shoulders? Instead of leaving this anonymous someone to carry the whole burden of social responsibility, we should carry a bit of it and do our part. That way, it'll be everyone carrying a teensy bit of the same burden, and no one will feel the weight.
It just saddened me because well, if you keep thinking that someone else is going to do it for you...
What's going to happen if everyone thinks the same way?
Was I wrong to tell the guy to stop drinking? I felt bad for telling him off, but he was my age and he really ought to have known better, especially since he was a local and should have been more than well-acquainted with our strict laws.
Should I just keep my mouth shut the next time and hope that somebody else does the job for me? Truth is, I told him off because I noticed that everyone else was looking at him too, but nobody said a word. I decided that I should do something, and I did it.
I just don't know if I did right or wrong.
I thought she was joking, but nope she definitely wasn't. I apologised (after silently freaking for about 45 minutes because I was so scared and I didn't know what to do because WHO ON EARTH FORGETS TO GO FOR AN EVENT and I just had to be the first person who had to make such a stupid mistake. I spent the rest of the day moping, and felt even worse when it was a slow news day and I couldn't find any news. Way to go to feel even more useless.
When the day was over and done, I pretty much dragged myself all the way to the train station, I was that tired. Music on full blast was basically the only way I was keeping myself upright and walking then.
And in the train, I was happy to zone out, because my stop was all the way at the other end of the train line and I didn't mind the chance to blank out and let my thoughts drift for an hour or so.
It was then that I saw him.
He looked just like any other guy my age, with a dirty backpack and textbook. From the looks of it, he was on his way home from tuition class.
And he was drinking from a can of green tea.
Now that just really pissed me off, because it's a rule here - you're not supposed to eat or drink in the train. Yes, it's a strict rule, but it has logic because with food and drinks comes the problem of people littering. And I really doubt we want our clean, air-conditioned trains to have rubbish and dirty cans or food wrappers strewn around. There's a fine of $500 if you get caught eating or drinking in the train - like I said, it's that strict.
I walked up to the guy and told him to stop drinking because he would get fined for it. And he wasn't happy about it, but he did stop drinking even if he kept staring at me.
I decided to just let it be if he was staring at me. Sure, he wasn't happy that he got called out by a total stranger (and someone smaller than him, no less) and wanted to express it by glaring. I just glared right back (hey, I'd had a bad day and totally deserved to express my unhappiness too).
I told my dad about the incident afterwards, hoping to hear his thoughts on the subject, maybe even a bit of approval from him that I did the right thing (I know I did the right thing, but hell it's still good to hear some affirmation sometimes).
He yelled at me.
He said that what I did was stupid, that the guy could have attacked me, yada yada yada. I wasn't happy, because hey, I did something right and I fully intended to justify it. I asked him what he would have done.
He said he would just kept his mouth shut, because someone else would have told the guy off.
Now that pissed me off even more, and saddened me too.
What's this "let someone else do it" mentality for?
I won't stand up for what's right, because someone else will do it for me?
So what happens if everyone does this?
"Someone's being attacked! Never mind, I don't need to help, someone else will do it."
"I'm being attacked! I shouldn't try to defend myself, someone will come save me for sure."
"Education? Why should I have to study hard? Someone will take care of me for sure."
Why do we feel the need to foist the responsibility onto someone else's shoulders? Instead of leaving this anonymous someone to carry the whole burden of social responsibility, we should carry a bit of it and do our part. That way, it'll be everyone carrying a teensy bit of the same burden, and no one will feel the weight.
It just saddened me because well, if you keep thinking that someone else is going to do it for you...
What's going to happen if everyone thinks the same way?
Was I wrong to tell the guy to stop drinking? I felt bad for telling him off, but he was my age and he really ought to have known better, especially since he was a local and should have been more than well-acquainted with our strict laws.
Should I just keep my mouth shut the next time and hope that somebody else does the job for me? Truth is, I told him off because I noticed that everyone else was looking at him too, but nobody said a word. I decided that I should do something, and I did it.
I just don't know if I did right or wrong.
Nat,
ReplyDeleteI think you did the right thing. It's just that the previous generation (aka our parents/baby boomers) are very much used to keeping their heads down. Standing out or standing up for something is quite foreign to them - they aren't used to challenging what's been set in place for them. As a result, they dare not voice out or speak out for fear of losing "face", or for being verbally/physically attacked - because they simply don't want to be singled out. They want harmony and they want to blend in. This is the clash of ideals between our generation and their generation I guess? :')
Please don't be disheartened by your thinking of standing up for what's right and for carrying society's "little" burden - I do agree with your stance on working together and speaking out on such incidents (eg. getting people to move further into MRT trains etc). That's the way we should be. In Japan, the Japanese are known to lecture those who litter, and they aren't afraid to. That's definitely something similar you picked up and something Singaporeans can learn, instead of just minding our own business. That mindset is fatal.
It's just that many Singaporeans don't think that way, and are still very much self-conscious about "losing face". So don't ever be disheartened. I'm with you on this. Plus I think Daddy Chew was thinly veiling his concern for you in his yellings.
Take care Nat.
Juliana