It's raining and I'm so happy, it's so beautiful.
At the same time all I want to do is cry because I'm sad again, and I don't know why.
I can't say that I'm afraid I might fall into the same abyss I was once in because I've never come close to getting out of it, but this feeling frightens me because it's similar to how I usually feel before an episode.

I'm happy and I'm sad and frightened, but for now it hardly matters because it's raining.

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