For we must all learn to howl.

I haven't seen you in a long time. Let's be real - I haven't ever  seen you. I don't even know what you look like. But the thing is, I used to dream about you, and often too. I wonder where you are now? I used to hate the idea of soulmates - I never believed in the idea that someone out there was supposed to be my missing puzzle piece because I hated the thought of having to stay somewhat incomplete until I met whoever it was who was supposed to "complete" me. It felt weak, somehow, knowing that whoever it was you were to be truly happy with wasn't going to be decided by you. It felt like some notion thought up by a silly lovesick schoolgirl to make herself feel better, thinking that there was someone out there who was in looooooove with her. Of course, all that changed when I saw you for the first time. Or perhaps felt would be a better word - all I remember, all I'll always remember are your hands holding mine, holding me safe and warm and st...

I cried onstage today. It wasn't something that I'd planned to do - it was the last scene of the performance, and was supposed to be heartbreaking and sad and in a best case scenario would leave the audience in tears. The thing was, I'd planned to just fake it - a few sniffles, a waver of the voice, maybe a crack or a sob even. That's what I'm good at, and I've never tried to actually force a few tears out because I've never been able to and the few times that I've tried it have all looked unbearably fake to me. The way I cried onstage today... It was amazing to me. I've been so stressed lately, what with school and the performance and personal problems, and only half an hour before call time saw me having a minor breakdown in the toilets with a junior comforting me. The reason why I cried... At that moment, it was mostly because I felt that I didn't deserve to be onstage with the others. I'd been out of acting for close to a ...

10am. Slam the door harder, I don't think I heard you the first time. Throw the dishes down - I'm still not quite sure how angry you are. Storm from room to room. This house needs more negative energy, after all.

Stressed, sick, upset, lonely. I haven't the time or patience to waste on emotions today. 8Tracks while I work: Sweater Weather

Forget the outside voices. Forget the stress. Remember what you are here for. Forget what you hear, that your time is over and you're chasing a lost dream - do what you came here to do and leave with good memories. Forget the hunched back, forget to pretend. Walk how grandmother used to. Breathe how grandmother used to. Remember.

I'm tired. I'm so tired. Just ended a session - the performance itself is next Thursday and Friday - if I wasn't stressed enough my brain's creeping into full-out panic mode now because I've reached that stage where I hit a block and for some reason find myself completely unable to understand and connect to my character. It wouldn't be such a big problem (I encounter this every time I have a character so it's nothing new, really) if not for the fact that the performance is next Friday . When I was acting as Mrs Phua for TWCT, at least I still had some time to sort my character out and work on breaking through the block. This time... If not counting the weekend because I'll be away, I have three days to perfect everything. I have three days. Three . Days . Three days to perfect my character and script (there was a last minute change to the script that now requires me to speak in near-fluent Cantonese as if I wasn't already having a huge proble...

Listened to a few things I wish I didn't have to today. Infighting, politics, people who just couldn't care less... These were things that were common enough back when we were around, but the thing was that we'd solved most of those problems by the time we had to leave. The problem is now that it appears to be that those problems have come back in full force, and the situation seems worse than before. Listening to all that made me incredibly upset because this isn't what we fought for. This isn't what we argued and cried over and planned for. This wasn't the legacy that we left behind. What we left behind wasn't perfect, but it had something. Everyone was more or less getting along, and everyone seemed to know what they wanted as a whole. This isn't what I'm seeing now. This isn't what I'm hearing now. I'm hearing stories about people getting kicked out, about people being pressurised to quit. I'm hearing about people stayi...

If you think this is one of those well-planned, long-ass posts that I occasionally put up, you're wrong. I'm just going to ramble, so you've been warned. There's something I want to do. It's been at the back of my mind since I first found out about it, but I've always pushed it to the very back of my mind because well, it wasn't all that important. I knew about it, and some others knew about it, and that was enough for me - I didn't need everyone to know. The problem is, there was a recent event that got me thinking - I decided that I wanted to be able to tell others about it, that I wanted to be able to show how proud I was of it. But I'm still scared. I see some people being so flippant about theirs, and it makes me think that hey, if I were as flippant about it as they were maybe no one would freak out if I told them. The thing is... Everyone hears about theirs a lot more. I'm not upset about it, but it's the truth. Only Milk and a...

Ignorance Denial Anger Bargaining Guilt Depression Hope Acceptance Basically a small plot bunny that hopped into my head and now refuses to leave - I can't get to doing it just yet though, I need to at least get started on my essay because not only do I have an evil bunny in my head but I also have cosplays to plan out for December and I seem to have signed on for a bit too much this month. Presentational Essay + Major Essay - I need to at least get started oh my god Blog review - that should be easy enough, but then again I managed to struggle with writing a bio the last time... Mama Looking For Her Cat - apparently the Drama club needs a fill-in so voila I seem to have gained a part-time job. Don't ask me what it is, because I might have to kill myself if I admit that I've gone back to that job again . Cosplay plans for AFA in December - 2 or 3 characters?? I have like one confirmed plan (Misa again) but then I also have another kind-of-confirmed one th...

So I thought I should post this here because I've been whining here about how I've been working on that skeleton fic for Pingu, and posting bits and pieces of what it might be about. I'M FINALLY DONE WITH IT. It's a monster, being the longest I've written so far - it's not a lot really, but I'm proud of it no matter how raw (and sometimes rather awkward) it is. I'm currently waiting for feedback - I've sent it to Pingu and Kira (so far ignoring the C2 tama-zombies who managed to find out about the fic and have been pestering me from time to time to check if I've finished it) and want to wait to hear what they have to say about it before I even think about putting it up on the next fanfiction exchange (Pingu's idea). 8Tracks: Rainy Days and Movies

So the summer anime run has finally ended... And the anime side of Tumblr finds itself sharing blankets and mugs of hot chocolate and hugs as we pick up what's left of our souls hearts and cry or stare blankly into space. All in all considered quite normal, considering what we've been through. Each series was considered short (the shortest in this list had 11 episodes while the longest had 25 episodes) but all were equally crippling - excuse me while I pick up my box of tissues and shuffle to a corner to cry again. 1. Haikyuu! As far as my very limited experience for sports anime goes, Haikyuu! follows the standard formula for most sports anime ( "This year we'll finally go to Nationals, I can feel it!" ) and still manages to keep things fresh. I have no idea why Hinata and Kageyama reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke though  maybe it was because of Hinata's nonstop energy and Kageyama's too-cool attitude hehe . The anime seems to follow the manga ...