For we must all learn to howl.

So, it's that time of the year trimester again: I swear Hell Week gets longer and longer every time it comes to visit. On the one hand it feels like this: And on the other hand it also feels like this: I hate how Hell Week is never just a week though - it's always two or three weeks. Circle's mostly decided that we're going to camp out in the study room beside the school library, which is full to bursting with other students who are all mugging for their exams. Then again, our school library is about the size of two classrooms, so this doesn't say much for it being full to bursting. We don't have exams for this trimester (except for one, but it's an MCQ-based exam so does it really count?) but that's no reason to celebrate - we have six major assignments to hand in by next Thursday, and two other major assignments for submission the week after. All the study rooms elsewhere are taken - this is the bad thing about Hell Week, that you never ...

Trying and failing to even get started on the readings for my media law major essay (which, by the way, I should really start because wow there isn't time for anything anymore), but then ended up on YouTube for reasons and stumbled across THIS: I CANNOT BREATHE. LIKE I AM ACTUALLY LITERALLY SHAKING AND CRYING BECAUSE HILS. HILARY FREAKING DUFF AND SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD. SHE SOUNDS AS AMAZING AS SHE DID ALL THOSE YEARS AGO OH GOD OH GOD DON'T TOUCH ME. And she looked pretty good with teal hair: And even better with her grey-something hair for her Sparks music video: But seeing her blonde again like she always was and singing so well again (because let's face it, her promo for Sparks wasn't the best and she sounded pretty off because it's been so long since she's been singing onstage again) and oh god I'm so emotional don't touch me. Just don't touch me. I am having a MOMENT guys. Just. No.

The way he looks at you (like a kiss) The way he smiles at you (it feels like the first of winter's snow starting to thaw) The way he holds you (you've never felt safer) like a whisper The way he loves you like falling asleep (so complete) The way he breaks you like a promise - spindly neck snapped in three places and all you see is empty (there is no colour to be found) and all you feel is grey (hollow).

"When did you become a redhead?" "...Since Monday night." I'm (half) sorry - exhaustion and a general increase in crankiness means that I'm not quite up to small talk and chitchat, even when it comes to one of the lecturers I actually like. Didn't sleep well - chest hurt again last night after dinner so I took a pain pill, and the drowsiness has lasted till now (remember what I said about drowsy meds not playing well with me?). To make things worse, I might be coming down with something - I started sneezing since I left the house and haven't stopped since. Heading off after class to sign my contract for Halloween Horror Nights 5 - I GOT THE JOB - but I'm still wondering if I should head home or back to school after the contract to work on my media law major essay since I haven't started and am most definitely beginning to panic now. Everyone's mostly quiet in class - half the class isn't even here because everyone's fo...

I'm still shaking - partly due to fear, partly due to anger. You never  joke about something like this, do you understand? NEVER . I'm usually ignored in the family, so I don't usually particularly care, but this was a whole different issue because this was about my dad's health, and even though he's an asshole it's not really as if I want to see him kick the bucket. So no one was telling me anything, and I was growing from apathetic to scared because what was going on , and it was only after I called my mum that she told me it was a joke, relax. I can't even begin to describe how wrong this was and on how many levels exactly because this was so WRONG. Who gave a shit that I was freaked out enough that I started crying, right? Because I very obviously didn't care? Because who gave a damn that for all I knew he could be having anything from a mild concussion to something that could grow to be a problem in the future? And who ever gave a damn...

I swear I'm so done. SO. DONE. So I set up this Skype interview with an interviewee I need for my feature article assignment, and we made the call, did the interview and said goodbye. If anything at all I think I've learned a couple lessons from this interview: I hate Skype interviews - I hate not knowing how to react to a person because I only have their voice to go on when I have to think about how to react, and this is why I'm so much fonder of actual physical face-to-face interviews. I'm never using Skype for an interview platform again. Seriously wtf is the point of a Skype recording software if it DOESN'T RECORD THE VOICE OF THE PERSON YOU'RE TALKING TO. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR MY VOICE I NEED TO HEAR HIS . HE IS THE ONE I AM QUOTING WHY DO YOU RECORD MY VOICE INSTEAD OF HIS . Also seriously my room is one of the worst places to hold a Skype conversation, and I have never been more aware of this fact today. Like why do I have to live by the ma...

Had a really bad scare yesterday while working in the library after class - it was like a sharp stabbing pain in the centre of my chest, and for close to two or three minutes I couldn't breathe properly or move at all. Needless to say, I was terrified. I didn't know what was going on, and for all I knew I was actually going to die. I didn't know what to do - Google said it could be anything ranging from chest wall pains to a heart attack to a lack of heart muscle tissue due to anorexia, and nothing was really helping. The pain sort of subsided after a few minutes, but it still hurt to move, and it felt like I was going to tear something in my chest if I tried to stand up or something. It was the first time I'd ever found myself genuinely afraid - not of dying, but of having to leave everything behind. I don't know, maybe you'll think it's crazy talk or something, but it was so real to me, and with that sudden stabbing pain every worry I had just before...