Problem

I have a problem. It's a problem that most of my close friends know about, but I've never really talked about it before.

I have incredibly bad mood swings. Yep, you read it right. Mood swings. You're probably thinking, hey, come on, she's just a girl, it's normal for this to happen, blame it on hormones blah blah blah. And sure, maybe it's the hormones. I wouldn't know. But I can tell you that this isn't normal, not when I can literally swing from happy to angry and crying in five minutes. I kid you not.

A good example would be my tweets. My tweets range from "I feel good today. The skies are so beautiful! :D" to "You know what? Maybe it's not worth living anymore..." to "OMFG I FUCKING HATE YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TALKING TO ME JUST GTFO". And you know what's scary? All this can be in one day. One day. It scares me, honestly.

I'm a Cancerian, sure, the most emotional sign in the horoscope. Sure, our emotions can change pretty fast, but if you ask me, I think my mood swings are too often and unpredictable. I don't like how I can't control my emotions, and how I can swing to extreme ends of the emotions spectrum in a span of five minutes. It sucks, really.

I can be hanging out with my close friends, happy and laughing, and all of a sudden I'll just keep to myself and not talk much, which is saying something since I hardly ever shut up when I'm with my close friends. My friends usually know when I'm in a bad mood, so they usually leave me alone for a bit. Which is good, because whatever I say when I'm in such a mood tends to hurt a lot, which is also why I tend to keep very quiet when I'm in one of my moods. I don't wanna hurt any of my friends.

So it's cool when my friends keep a distance when I'm in a happy-to-angry mood, but then things get awkward after the moodiness passes and then I return to a happy mood. I told you, it's screwed up. I can go from happy to angry to sad to happy again in an hour. Not fun.

I have no idea how my friends have managed to put up with this BS for so long, and I love them all the more for it. I usually try to tell people that I'm in a bad mood so they know to stay away, but I hate having to do that. It makes me feel like I'm this emotionally unstable freak (which I am, actually...) who shouldn't be out in public.

Public enemy number one. That's me. Haha!

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