Something Weird

"Tell me something weird about yourself."

 I stare at this question. I'd penned it down when I was killing myself over coming up with good interview questions, and in desperation scribbled it into my notebook. And now I stare at it.

Tell me something weird about yourself.
If the roles were reversed, if I was the one being interviewed and I was asked such a question, how would I answer? How should one answer such a question, if one were being interviewed for the paper? Anything you said would prolly end up in the paper, after all. What's safe to say, what should be locked away?

Such complex thoughts for such a seemingly simple question. Which was also why I removed the question from the interview. I didn't want to ask such a personal question when it wouldn't be needed.

But since nothing I say is likely to end up in any paper of any sort, I may as well answer this question as truthfully as I can, no?

Something weird about myself. Hmmm.

I sometimes don't know if I'll just snap and kill myself.
Erm, is that weird or scary though?
Too scary. Right.
So. Er.

You guys. I'm stuck. Like, I'm actually sitting in my room here, staring into empty space and listening to Delain and wondering what about me is weird. As in, what about me is weird that people don't know about. I guess I'm so weird that it's not even worth hiding anything, lolol.

I like death. Old news.
I like cheongsams. How is that weird again?
I constantly envision myself dating cute anime guys. Confessions of a fangirl.
Ah, fuck it.

Whenever I see a clown or barbie doll, I can't help but feel freaked out because all I see is them holding sharp shiny shiny bloody knives and coming after me, with those smiles never leaving their faces. I actually have dreams about them and then snap awake sometimes. And that's also why seeing people smile scares me sometimes, and why I sometimes just don't want to smile. Because seeing myself smile freaks me out sometimes.

 There. Weird enough?

I can't actually look at this picture for too long without feeling fear like I've never known before.
My body's actually getting chills and I'm breathing hard.
I don't dare to look into it's eyes.
If you wanna kill me, go ahead. But just please, not like this.

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