The Dos & Don'ts of Telemarketing
DO:
- Smile when talking. There's an actual difference when you do it, and it'll prolly help convince that grumpy person on the other end of the line to resist hanging up for that one precious second.
- Take note of how annoyed they sound, and try to adjust your voice accordingly. It sounds stupid, but try to imagine your voice as a ribbon, and imagine coating it with layer upon layer of honey to make it sound sweeter and smoother. I know, it sounds stupid, it is stupid, but I do it!
- Always ask when they're free if they say that they aren't. Don't just let them slip past you.
- Maintain a cheerful personality on the phone, even when the person is telling you to fuck off. Cussing and stabbing little voodoo dolls with pins can wait till you've hung up.
DON'T:
- Let yourself show how annoyed you are with the person you're talking to over the phone. Let's face it, telemarketing isn't a very nice job, but hey, someone's gotta do it. And that someone just happens to be you.
- Argue with the person over the phone. This is something that I still struggle with.
- Allow yourself to be bullied by the people over the phone. With people of ranking come bitchy-ass secretaries who seem to think that their personal calling in life is to make life hell for any telemarketer who comes looking for their bosses. Either way, what I do is pretty simple - if they're bitchy to me, I'm bitchy to them. Sometimes, being able to fake an American or Brit accent really does come in handy, lol.
Yeah, I've had the phone slammed in my face (ear?) all day. But what can I say? It comes with the job after all. My back's killing me cos I've been slouched over the phone all day, and if tennis players can suffer from tennis elbow then I most definitely am suffering from telemarketing elbow, wahaha. Don't get what I mean? Try picking your phone up with the same hand like 200 times. It's not heavy, but there's that certain numbness that stays in the elbow after a long while.
I've been scolded for wasting people's time, I've had the phone slammed down, I've had people who bark at me that they're busy, and can't I get straight to the point? And I've had people who've agreed to let me talk, and then halfway through interrupt me and decide that no thank you, they don't want to listen to any sales crap (even though I must have told them about a million times that no, I'm not selling anyfuckingthing.)
I've had people who, when I call them, tell me that oh, they're busy, why not call them an hour later? And then when I call an hour later, they say the same thing - why don't I call them an hour later? Rinse and repeat until they decide that they've had enough and then they snap at me to call them tomorrow. Sigh. People think they're so clever. The thing is that when it comes to me, if they tell me to call them tomorrow, I really will call them tomorrow.
I'm the sort of telemarketer that everyone despises the most - I will actually hound you until you pickup the damned phone and give me yes or no as an answer. Busy? Fine, I can call you whenever you're free, no problem. Don't pick up? I'll assume that you're in a meeting and call you about an hour or so later. If I keep calling and you don't pick up, I will automatically assume that you're either dead or that your phone has gotten stolen, and then promptly call either the funeral parlour or the police. Yeah, I've got the really thick skin that is required for such a job. I don't get hurt when people slam the phone down or hang up on me - I get insulted. And in rare cases when the person has really led me a not-so-merry-go-round only to turn around and snap at me to fuck off and stop bothering them.... That's when I get nasty.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not a spiteful person by nature, and I definitely don't take this job just so I can make people's lives a living hell. No. I'm just doing my job, and if you insist on being nasty, then well, I'll just have to defend myself. There's no way I'm going to lie down and let you walk all over me.
I don't get why people have to be so nasty to telemarketers. Sure, it's annoying when your phone rings and you pick up, only to realise that whoever's called you is either just trying to sell you stuff or trying to share something about an amazing new product. Yes, I get it. That's annoying.
The thing is, it's prolly the act of the person calling, or the disappointment that you felt when you realised that whoever called you was not your friend or your boyfriend/girlfriend or that cute guy you've been crushing on since forever, or the product itself that annoyed you. Please don't kill the messenger (telemarketer in this case) because said messenger (telemarketer in this case) is just doing her job. I don't know what kind of satisfaction people get in taking whatever anger they've felt during the day out on the telemarketer who's called, trying to sell you something.
I mean, if you want to tell the telemarketer that NO YOU'RE NOT BLOODY INTERESTED IN THE PRODUCT just say so. Don't interrupt the telemarketer (didn't your mama teach you it was bad manners to interrupt?), wait for him/her to catch a breath and then politely say that sorry, you're not interested. Don't brush them off, please. It's rude, and it's hurtful. How do you think it feels to know that you're at the very bottom of the food chain, and then have a thousand and one people shoving said fact in your face? I'm not saying that you should serve the telemarketer tea and crumpets on a silver tray, nor am I saying that you absolutely have to buy the product/service (although it would certainly make us very happy if you did!). I'm just saying, be nice. Don't go out of your way to be nasty to the telemarketer, because we've already faced enough shit from corporate secretaries.
Just say that hey, it's nice of you to tell me about this, but I'm sorry that I'm not interested in this product that you're trying to sell. Thanks though, and have a nice day!
Is that so difficult? See, you didn't have to ask the telemarketer out to lunch, or buy jewellery for her or anything. Hell, we won't even ask for a cup of coffee. Just a plain and simple "have a nice day!" is enough that when we put the phone down, we'll be smiling even though you didn't want anything we were trying so desperately to sell to you. When it comes to stuff like this, proper phone etiquette (like a "Hello, this is ABC Company, good morning." instead of "HAR-LOW, ABC Company, wha' you wan'?") and a "have a nice day" when you're done rejecting us, these are like little spots of gold, little pick-me-ups in the day.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind this job at all, plus my boss is really awesome, it's just that I have quite a bit to say about it, especially after 7 and a half hours of calling people and getting the phone slammed down repeatedly.
- Smile when talking. There's an actual difference when you do it, and it'll prolly help convince that grumpy person on the other end of the line to resist hanging up for that one precious second.
- Take note of how annoyed they sound, and try to adjust your voice accordingly. It sounds stupid, but try to imagine your voice as a ribbon, and imagine coating it with layer upon layer of honey to make it sound sweeter and smoother. I know, it sounds stupid, it is stupid, but I do it!
- Always ask when they're free if they say that they aren't. Don't just let them slip past you.
- Maintain a cheerful personality on the phone, even when the person is telling you to fuck off. Cussing and stabbing little voodoo dolls with pins can wait till you've hung up.
DON'T:
- Let yourself show how annoyed you are with the person you're talking to over the phone. Let's face it, telemarketing isn't a very nice job, but hey, someone's gotta do it. And that someone just happens to be you.
- Argue with the person over the phone. This is something that I still struggle with.
- Allow yourself to be bullied by the people over the phone. With people of ranking come bitchy-ass secretaries who seem to think that their personal calling in life is to make life hell for any telemarketer who comes looking for their bosses. Either way, what I do is pretty simple - if they're bitchy to me, I'm bitchy to them. Sometimes, being able to fake an American or Brit accent really does come in handy, lol.
Yeah, I've had the phone slammed in my face (ear?) all day. But what can I say? It comes with the job after all. My back's killing me cos I've been slouched over the phone all day, and if tennis players can suffer from tennis elbow then I most definitely am suffering from telemarketing elbow, wahaha. Don't get what I mean? Try picking your phone up with the same hand like 200 times. It's not heavy, but there's that certain numbness that stays in the elbow after a long while.
I've been scolded for wasting people's time, I've had the phone slammed down, I've had people who bark at me that they're busy, and can't I get straight to the point? And I've had people who've agreed to let me talk, and then halfway through interrupt me and decide that no thank you, they don't want to listen to any sales crap (even though I must have told them about a million times that no, I'm not selling anyfuckingthing.)
I've had people who, when I call them, tell me that oh, they're busy, why not call them an hour later? And then when I call an hour later, they say the same thing - why don't I call them an hour later? Rinse and repeat until they decide that they've had enough and then they snap at me to call them tomorrow. Sigh. People think they're so clever. The thing is that when it comes to me, if they tell me to call them tomorrow, I really will call them tomorrow.
I'm the sort of telemarketer that everyone despises the most - I will actually hound you until you pickup the damned phone and give me yes or no as an answer. Busy? Fine, I can call you whenever you're free, no problem. Don't pick up? I'll assume that you're in a meeting and call you about an hour or so later. If I keep calling and you don't pick up, I will automatically assume that you're either dead or that your phone has gotten stolen, and then promptly call either the funeral parlour or the police. Yeah, I've got the really thick skin that is required for such a job. I don't get hurt when people slam the phone down or hang up on me - I get insulted. And in rare cases when the person has really led me a not-so-merry-go-round only to turn around and snap at me to fuck off and stop bothering them.... That's when I get nasty.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not a spiteful person by nature, and I definitely don't take this job just so I can make people's lives a living hell. No. I'm just doing my job, and if you insist on being nasty, then well, I'll just have to defend myself. There's no way I'm going to lie down and let you walk all over me.
I don't get why people have to be so nasty to telemarketers. Sure, it's annoying when your phone rings and you pick up, only to realise that whoever's called you is either just trying to sell you stuff or trying to share something about an amazing new product. Yes, I get it. That's annoying.
The thing is, it's prolly the act of the person calling, or the disappointment that you felt when you realised that whoever called you was not your friend or your boyfriend/girlfriend or that cute guy you've been crushing on since forever, or the product itself that annoyed you. Please don't kill the messenger (telemarketer in this case) because said messenger (telemarketer in this case) is just doing her job. I don't know what kind of satisfaction people get in taking whatever anger they've felt during the day out on the telemarketer who's called, trying to sell you something.
I mean, if you want to tell the telemarketer that NO YOU'RE NOT BLOODY INTERESTED IN THE PRODUCT just say so. Don't interrupt the telemarketer (didn't your mama teach you it was bad manners to interrupt?), wait for him/her to catch a breath and then politely say that sorry, you're not interested. Don't brush them off, please. It's rude, and it's hurtful. How do you think it feels to know that you're at the very bottom of the food chain, and then have a thousand and one people shoving said fact in your face? I'm not saying that you should serve the telemarketer tea and crumpets on a silver tray, nor am I saying that you absolutely have to buy the product/service (although it would certainly make us very happy if you did!). I'm just saying, be nice. Don't go out of your way to be nasty to the telemarketer, because we've already faced enough shit from corporate secretaries.
Just say that hey, it's nice of you to tell me about this, but I'm sorry that I'm not interested in this product that you're trying to sell. Thanks though, and have a nice day!
Is that so difficult? See, you didn't have to ask the telemarketer out to lunch, or buy jewellery for her or anything. Hell, we won't even ask for a cup of coffee. Just a plain and simple "have a nice day!" is enough that when we put the phone down, we'll be smiling even though you didn't want anything we were trying so desperately to sell to you. When it comes to stuff like this, proper phone etiquette (like a "Hello, this is ABC Company, good morning." instead of "HAR-LOW, ABC Company, wha' you wan'?") and a "have a nice day" when you're done rejecting us, these are like little spots of gold, little pick-me-ups in the day.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind this job at all, plus my boss is really awesome, it's just that I have quite a bit to say about it, especially after 7 and a half hours of calling people and getting the phone slammed down repeatedly.
"Hello, this is Natalie calling from ABC Company! Is this a good ti-"
*sound of phone slamming, dial tone*
"..........................Sigh."
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