Red.

I always dye my hair red - I started dyeing it two years ago after I completed my internship because I felt that it was time, I was ready, and I haven't dyed it a different colour ever since.

Of course, constant dye jobs do nothing for the hair, which is why I allowed mum to nag me into doing a henna job on my hair instead of the usual bright red I ask of the hairstylist.

The result is that my hair now looks orangey instead of red, which is what I expected but nevertheless found myself incredibly disappointed with.

(The irony is that I never have such complaints about my hair colour whenever my red fades to orange within the first two weeks of the fresh dye.)

Tsuki-kun told me that he felt the orange suited me better since the red was too bright, but I can't quite bring myself to agree with him.

See, the thing about red is that I chose the colour myself - it was the colour I was absolutely sure that I wanted for myself, and I never regretted the colour. Sure it was a little bright at first, but I never felt like I couldn't pull it off. If anything, I wanted it brighter, redder.

The thing about red is that it's strength. It's a bright, bold colour that draws attention and also fires a warning: I'm not someone who's going to be content just laying low and keeping quiet, and you'll want to think twice before messing with me.

Red means that when I catch a glimpse of my hair when I'm rushing to school or work or heading home after a long day, when I feel down and beaten and tired, it means that I feel better, stronger, more determined. It means that I feel as if I can conquer whatever challenge I'm facing, like I can work my way past whatever problem I have.

The thing about red is that it's fire, a flame that I want to always burn within me.

The thing about red is that it's the colour of passion - I want, need even, this daily reminder of how I continue to fight for what I'm passionate about. Whether it's the stage, the performance, the media, writing or weaving a story, I want to remember why I've held on for so long, why I've been so stubborn.

The thing about red is that it fades frustratingly fast, the same way that a person can lose his or her passion for something. The thing about red is that I'm forced to dye it almost every month or so to keep it bright - the same way I refuse to let my passion die. I will not allow myself to die, not when I've already done so several times.

The thing about red is that it's the colour of blood. Red means my hair will bleed for me instead of my arms or thighs.

Red is pain, and because of that it means that I'm reminded of everything I've struggled through when I look in the mirror - it means that I remind myself that I'm stronger than I think I am, that I've survived everything I've had thrown at me up till this point, and that I'll damn well survive anything else that anyone can throw at me.

That's why even though I agree that orange flatters me better, I can't agree with Tsuki-kun that it suits me better - orange is nice, but it isn't me the same way that red is.

Kick me, hurt me, beat me down - I will get back up, and I will walk on with my head held high and hair flaming red, red, too bright to look at.