For we must all learn to howl.

Close your eyes, my beautiful soul. Take a deep breath and remember it’s going to be alright. You will fight this, you will win and you will overcome this fear that lies within you. You have been in this position before, haven’t you? And you have always managed to get around it, so what makes this time different? You just need to believe in yourself, you need to close your eyes and take a moment to breathe, you need to place your hands on your heart and concentrate on the beat. You see, your heart beats for you to be strong so please, just hold on a little longer. Who knows, light might be around the corner. -  soulsubmissionn

I am tired. So very , very tired. I tire of the meaningless games we all play, this daily waltzing and spinning around in the intricate webs we lay and the layers upon layers of meaningless meaning that we call social interaction. I tire of having my every word twisted, my every gesture taken out of context and eyed with scorn and hate that burns a dark caramel. Emotions have colours, you do know. And this one colours caramel, burnt caramel that stings the eyes and fills the nose and stays in the back of the throat. I tire of running around to ease the murmuring within, of wearing myself down to the bone only to be able to sleep a restless sleep and dream of nothing and everything. I tire of stressing over everything and nothing, and I tire of filling my days with work only to find myself too fatigued to actually do anything. I tire, dear reader, of being unable to do anything at nothing more than half the speed at which I used to work. I tire of feeling like a broken machine, o...

I can't pretend to have fully read A Midsummer Night's Dream - I know the gist of it and have read a scene or two but that's about it - but I do love this line, and I really hope that I can live up to it one day. That I may be little but fierce and truly fearsome, that is what I want to work towards.

#100happydays: Day 16 Panda said he wanted to buy some stickers to paste over his EZ-link cards (those are like our bus and train passes) because well, they're kind of ugly, and we found these after trawling a boxshop. The funny thing was that we didn't really intend to buy two of the same sticker, but then one of us (I can't remember who it was) joked that hey, we didn't really buy into the idea of couple T-shirts so why not have couple EZ-link cards instead? Long story short we now have these stickers pasted over the back of our student cards, and it makes my mornings a little bit brighter to see the watercolour on the back of my card and to know that he has the same sticker on his student card too, and that this is something we can share. Every time I open my wallet it's like a 2-second bit of happiness that I can take out and tap on the electronic card reader to clock in and out for classes. The complete stash of stickers purchased and pasted - ...

#100happydays: Day 15 I opened my email on Thursday and found this waiting for me - long story short I DID IT, I made auditions! I know I said that it was likely that everyone who auditioned would make it through into either professional or amateur groupings, but even with that in mind seeing this was a huge joy.  I told mum about this and it seems that I kind of have her support about this, as long as it doesn't interfere with my studies and grades - I've promised that I'll do my absolute best to juggle everything. I can't wait to start training next week, I'm super nervous but here's hoping it all goes well! 101 Things I Think About: Day 15 I went to the Super Japan Matsuri with Panda and a few friends from EDIT  to check this festival out - we'd heard about this and requested for media passes to cover the event, and we were really excited to see what this festival had promised to deliver. Well, we were sorely disappointed. The event had prom...

You ever have one of those days when you know you need to get moving, but you just can't for the life of you find the motivation or energy to hoist yourself out of the chair? Yeah, this is one of those days. I'm so lazy.

I'm aware this is later than I promised - yes, I did say the last time that I'd post every Friday - but things have been pretty hectic, and it's honestly been tougher than usual to try keeping to a posting schedule like I used to during the break. Either way, this is the post that I owe - I know I was supposed to post this on Friday, but I thought it appropriate to hold on to this one for a little bit because of the content I wanted to include. #100happydays: Day 14 I love live music - there's this vibe from listening to a song that's being played live that makes it so different from listening to the perfectly recorded mp3 version.  In my opinion, live music has this kind of magic about it that's incredibly difficult to find. I mean, imagine walking down a street at night, minding your own business... And all of a sudden you hear people playing music - doesn't it just colour the air? It's really quite refreshing, and I'm not sure how best t...

Well, yikes. It seems I've gone and forgotten all about posting about my #100happydays and 101 Things I Think About challenges again - I told Panda this would be difficult ahhhh. I hope no one who reads my blog minds terribly, but I'd like to make a modification to the challenges - I know these challenges are meant to be for daily posting, but I'd like to change it so I write a post about these challenges every Friday night. In this way, it's a little easier for me to keep up with the challenge, and I don't have to keep apologising for forgetting or being too busy to post. (This is especially since uni's just starting to kick in - it's our final trimester and I'm terrified.) So, Friday night, alright? (Hey, that rhymed!)

#100happydays: Day 13 As previously mentioned, today was the first day of the new trimester - which meant that the lot of us trudged to school, and I can't say we were too eager to get back to work so soon. On the brighter side, it also meant that we managed to catch up with the others - it was nice to just sit around and talk and joke and laugh again. Hsi Er gave us all souvenirs from Taiwan (she went home over the break) and it was really nice - she gave me this wraparound towel affectionately called "the mushroom" and I was really happy to receive it because I'd loved it when I saw her using it on the Circle trip to Bali and asked her to maybe help me buy one if she had the chance. I can't wait to start using it - I must admit that hot pink really isn't my colour, but it's a great choice in all honesty given how often I dye my hair bright red. In this way, I won't have to worry about dyeing the mushroom some other colour than it's sup...

#100happydays: Day 12 Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a huge fan of anime series, and will follow any ongoing series I like religiously. Unfortunately, I could never say the same for live-action television series - Tish regularly bemoans the fact that I don't watch any of the shows she does and won't get most references that she talks about - until I stumbled across Penny Dreadful. My interest in the show was aroused when I first saw a picture set from (where else) Tumblr, and I knew I had to find out more about the show. I wasn't disappointed at all - the show was dark, twisted and beautiful in all the right amounts for me, and I was especially tickled to find that they included some very familiar names such as Victor Frankenstein and Dorian Gray.  Of course, these names were hardly there for show, and the show did include the elements that are so closely tied to the names (such as Dr Frankenstein's famous creation, for example). However, I li...

#100happydays: Day 11 I don't really have a picture for this one, but I like treating the first of every month as something to celebrate in general. I started doing this when I was younger because I felt like it was good to keep something to celebrate every month - in this way, I had something to look forward to every month, and made it a point to wish those around me as though it were truly a special occasion - after a while, some friends started wishing me back too, and that became a fun tradition of sorts. So I know this post is a day late, but happy first of May! 101 Things I Think About: Day 11 I like watching anime - to me, it's an escape of sorts into a world where I truly don't feel out of place, but that's a post for another day. I don't normally watch series like the one pictured above, usually opting to watch stuff that focuses more on action, thriller and supernatural themes if I can because those interest me more. However, this series cre...

#100happydays: DAY 10 Passed by the National Museum on the way home last night and saw little food stalls set up for the Singapore Heritage Fest - the fairy lights were so pretty I couldn't help but snap a quick picture - apologies for the bad quality! 101 Things I Think About: DAY 10 Got my hair dyed today - I've been dyeing my hair ever since I completed my student internship in my final year of studying in TP, and was a deal I made with my mother that I would be allowed to dye my hair when I had gone through my internship with no trouble. I first dyed my hair black with red streaks, but eventually moved on to a full head of red hair because I liked how fiery it was, and from then on it was always brighter, redder. The chemicals I used today were stronger than usual and it stung so badly when the hairdresser applied it, but I grit my teeth and told myself that it was worth it, all worth it. I've shared before  why I always dye my hair red , and that r...

#100happydays: DAY 9 I came across this fan-made picture when I was clicking around and my heart just melted - I'm a huge fan of the Zankyou no Terror anime series, and seeing all my babies together in one picture like this really made me happy. 101 Things I Think About: DAY 9 I wrote about my grandmother yesterday, so I think it's fitting to write about my third aunt today. It's been a year since she passed away - my grandmother passed away on the 28th of April, and my third aunt passed away on the 25th of April the year after. I was closest to my grandmother and third aunt (I'm only talking about extended family here, so I'll not mention my mother), but a family feud between my mother and her sisters meant that battle lines were drawn and sides were taken, and we didn't come into contact with my second or third aunt for years after that. I didn't know the whole story because I was quite young when it happened (which meant that no one would tel...