150516 - Overdue

I'm aware this is later than I promised - yes, I did say the last time that I'd post every Friday - but things have been pretty hectic, and it's honestly been tougher than usual to try keeping to a posting schedule like I used to during the break.

Either way, this is the post that I owe - I know I was supposed to post this on Friday, but I thought it appropriate to hold on to this one for a little bit because of the content I wanted to include.

#100happydays: Day 14

I love live music - there's this vibe from listening to a song that's being played live that makes it so different from listening to the perfectly recorded mp3 version. 

In my opinion, live music has this kind of magic about it that's incredibly difficult to find. I mean, imagine walking down a street at night, minding your own business... And all of a sudden you hear people playing music - doesn't it just colour the air? It's really quite refreshing, and I'm not sure how best to explain it but it's magical, that's what it is.

There's this bittersweet feeling of how anything could happen, and the inexplicable longing of wanting or needing to share this with someone you hold dear before you go mad from holding it all in. In that moment you have never felt more alive, and yet in that moment you have never felt lonelier. That to me is how I know if a live performance is good.

Anyway, I happened to come across local group Saturdate when I was hanging out with Panda and a mutual friend - they're incredibly good, and their music isn't perfect or polished but that's the best part of their music in my opinion. They're rough but true, and what they produce is absolutely magical.

I know I'll be popping by Shaw House a little (or maybe a lot) more often if and when I can, if only because I want a little more of that magic in my nights.


101 Things I Think About: Day 14

This is the one that I wanted to hold onto for a little while more - I'd signed up for auditions lately, for a musical theatre group, and I didn't want to talk about it much because I was terrified I'd end up jinxing it. I stumbled across the call for auditions when I was clicking around on Facebook, and signed up for it after chewing on it for a few days because I really wanted to get back into the theatre scene, and even a little bit of this would be good enough for me.

I'm not sure if I've said this before, but acting and theatre were like drugs to me - I couldn't get enough, I had to have more, and if this was how I scored a hit then so be it, I'd be more than willing to take it.

I had to prep a monologue and a song from a musical, and spent a good deal of the two weeks I had to practice and practice and practice. I was so wobbly because I didn't have the proper breathing technique, I couldn't project half as well as I used to, and I was so out of touch with my craft.

It felt awful, like I'd thrown away the one thing that I held so close to me. I felt like I'd abandoned myself, and seriously wondered if it was worth it to try going back to the life I missed so much, to scripts and songs and dramatics.

I went to the venue earlier than the 2pm call-time because I was expecting a long line of fellow auditionees, but ended up second in line to audition because we were a lot earlier than expected. CUE EVEN MORE NERVOUS JITTERS.

We had three parts to go through - a monologue, song and dance routine. Needless to say, I sucked, and really badly. The good thing about the auditions was that they didn't seem to be a win or lose type - you weren't out of anything even if you didn't do that well because from what we were told we would just be split into amateur or professional-level groups for the musical theatre group, and that was the end of that.

I can't help feeling like I threw my audition, and I can't shake the feeling of disappointment because I tried so hard but it simply wasn't enough, and I was so outclassed by the others - there were people who clearly had years of experience working onstage, years of singing and dancing and professional training, people who had the degrees and certificates to show for their experience... And then there was me.

All the same, I did what I could, and that will have to be enough. It appears that I'll likely be in the amateurs group, but even then fingers crossed because I'm not 100% sure that we won't simply be told that we weren't good enough for either group. I'm hoping to start practice as soon as possible again.

I also happened to see this when I was hanging with Panda and our mutual friend - it was pretty cute, this little girl sitting with her parents and wearing her slightly-crooked angel wings.