For we must all learn to howl.

I'll keep this short, because it's actually getting pretty late and I really do need to sleep (gotta be in school at 9AM tomorrow, yay). For about two weeks, there's been a song that I haven't been able to bring myself to listen to. Truthfully speaking, I love the song. It's my kind of stuff. But there was an incident that left me unable to listen to the song, unable to allow myself to read too much into the song lyrics. Every time I tried to listen to the song, I would find, to my horror, that tears would start welling in my eyes. It was... Frustrating. And I was afraid. Why should I feel this way about a song? Just because of one incident? I kept telling myself, again and again, that it was just a song. I should just listen to the beat, to the rhythm of the song. Right? Wrong. The moment I felt the song's emotion, I was lost. And I had to force myself to change the song. I've been trying and trying to listen to the song, to distance my feelings fro...

I'm so tired. And so confused. Push and pull, push and pull, that's all I seem to be doing lately. And that isn't fair to the person who has to put up with my nasty moods and bitchy comments, all my pushing and pulling. It isn't fair at all. I'm a coward, unable to face up to my feelings. Unable to accept that you might have known all along what I've felt for you. Unable to find a way to tell you exactly what I feel, and unable to bear the thought of more-than-possible rejection from you. I'm a coward, unable to walk away from him. Unable to push him away completely because some part of me wants him near. Part of me looks forward to seeing him again, talking to him again. And the other part of me wants to push him away, tries to push him away. It's not fair. And I truly am a coward.

Yes, third post of the day. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm alternating between feeling happy and getting depressed as fuck. Right now, I actually feel like crying. For no bloody reason. What the fuck is wrong with me? Trapt - These Walls http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUkUa1rIXrI Lyrics: Something missing Left behind Search in circles Every time I try I've been here before I've seen you before [Chorus:] I can't escape winding down these halls Hard to find a place where there are no walls And no lines begging me to cross Only straight ahead better move along Like Clockwork I commit the crime I pretend to be everything they like I've been here before I've seen you before [Chorus] And I trade everything for this And I trade everything for this Why do I read the writing on the wall Why do I read the writing on the wall I won't lose my place in line I've been here too long and I've spent too much time I won't lose my place in li...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z06LXZQwkrc I don't own the video, it was just recommended to me and well, I liked it. So I thought I'd share. Lyrics: The secret side of me, I never let you see I keep it caged but I can't control it So stay away from me, the beast is ugly I feel the rage and I just can't hold it It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls It comes awake and I can't control it Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end? I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin I must confess that I feel like a monster I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun I must confess that I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster I, I feel like a monster My secret side I keep hid under lock and key I keep it caged but I can't control it 'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down Why won't somebody come and save me from this, m...

Dear you, How are you? We haven't talked since the starting of this year, and even then it was one of the most pathetic conversations I've ever been in. A text message from me, a single reply from you, another message from me, and no reply from you. How laughable is that? I don't really think that can be considered an actual conversation. I wonder how you are, you know. Everyday I wonder what you're doing, if you're alright. And sometimes I wonder if you think of me. Sometimes I wonder if you even remember who the hell I am. It sometimes feels like I'm stuck in a rut with these feelings I have for you. You're one of the more important people in my life, but the fact remains that I haven't seen you in 3 years. I don't know how much you've changed, and you know even less about me. What if you're not the same person I remember? What if you're not the same "Edward" I used to know? .....It's funny. I don't call you ...

Well, I guess this is what happens when you don't really know what you want to blog about, yet sign in anyway. Hmmm, what to talk about? I'm sick, but you guys already know that. My lappie is dying, but you guys know that too. I love PoT, but then again, I've been fangirling about it so much that it's a little difficult to find someone who doesn't  know that I'm currently obsessed with PoT. Wait. Obsessed. That just reminds me, during that creative writing class we had last Thursday, our tutor asked us what we were obsessed about. Of course, such a question was met with awkward silence and quite a bit of grinning on my part, though I sobered up when I realised that she really expected an honest answer from each and every one of us in the room. So, I had to do some serious thinking. The first answer that popped into my mind was death, but I pushed that thought aside. After all, I didn't want to mark myself as the weird kid on the very first tutorial... ...

Oh yeah, me being the huge idiot I am, I forgot to mention that I AM NOW A YEAR 2 STUDENT AT TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC WHOOOO. Yay to new classes (I got Broadcasting and Creative Writing as my elective and CDS respectively! *screams*) and meeting new people (I can't wait to meet the new dramatec freshies! Though if they're giggling idiots I swear I'll cut them. Rawr.)! Ooh here are my new subjects: - APEL 2 (which is like CME from secondary school, only slightly less boring) - Single Camera Production (<3) - Broadcast Performance (I cannot wait for this! Though the makeup part.... Meh.) - Basic Media Research (I have to stay awake for this. I can't stand statistics, but this is really important!!) - Intro to Audio Production (which is pretty much intro to RADIO. Let's go!) - Creative Writing (I'm not a good writer, but I hope I can change that!) - Basics of Entrepreneurship (I can survive this.......) And at the same time.... Boo to falling sick befor...