Never Enough

To 13:
I'm sorry I'll never be good enough, Chinese enough, JC enough, smart enough. I'm sorry I'm not innocent enough, pure enough, good enough, cute enough, funny enough. I'm sorry that I'll never be able to connect with you on that deeper level that you share.
I'm sorry.

 To 17:
I'm sorry I'll never be talented enough, Malay enough, Chinese enough, American enough, British enough. I'm sorry I'll never be bold enough, confident enough, normal enough. I'm sorry I'll never be weird enough, cool enough, amazing enough, crazy enough. I'm sorry that it's always awkward with me around, and I'm sorry that I always feel hurt when I see you having so much fun without me. I'm sorry that I'm always so boring and dull, and that I'm such a prude. I'm sorry that I'll never be able to connect with you on that deeper level that you share, and I'm sorry for hating myself for it.
I'm sorry.

 To 18:
I'm sorry I'll never be foodie enough, hardworking enough. quirky enough. I'm sorry I'll never be simple enough - I always have so many problems, and I know you're sick of hearing me talk. I'm sorry I'll never be interesting enough. I'm sorry that I'll never be able to connect with you on that deeper level you share, and I'm sorry for always being the odd one out.
I'm sorry.

 I'm sorry I'll never be cool enough, pretty enough, popular enough. I'm sorry I'll never be English enough, Chinese enough, Malay enough. I'm sorry I'll never understand the local jokes that you make. I'm sorry I'll never really understand what you talk about. I'm sorry I'll never be thin enough, tall enough, bold enough, graceful enough, normal enough. I'm sorry I'll never be gothic enough to be interesting, or normal enough to fit in. I'm sorry I'll always be fat and ugly and fucked up. I'm sorry I'll always be into weird things that no one else seems to understand on the same level that I do, and I'm sorry for talking about things that I like when all it does is create awkwardness because no one really knows what to say. I'm sorry that I'm still alive. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Comments

  1. SiegiusDecember 16, 2012 at 2:10 AM

    You are all those things, you just don't see it. I'm not even talking about being all that to others, although I'm sure you are to the people you matter to. I'm talking about being all that to yourself. Being enough to yourself. What happened to the girl that wasn't afraid to be different? Who abhorred being normal cuz that just wasn't who she was?

    Society has made it seem that you are never enough, in some aspect or another. But you are. You are amazing. You are pretty. You're not fat, you're wonderful just the way you are. People do like you for who you are, for being different, for being a little weird. Cuz there are people that are a little weird on the inside too and they just want someone to be weird with :)
    I can see that you are so much more than you make yourself out to be, and I know that many others that know you much better can see that so much better than I can. But the bottom line is: You are enough if you are trying to be yourself. If you're trying to be someone else or something you're not just because that's what the rest of society says you should be, then you will never be enough. So stop trying to be someone else, let the thousands of others be that. Be the one and only you. Pretty, amazing, weird, different, smart and most importantly, yourself.

    ReplyDelete

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