Basically Me At Work

1: SOURCING FOR NEWS
Click.
Wait for page to load.
Scan page for news updates.
Go to next web page.
Repeat.
Find news update at last.
Mentally groan when you realise you can’t use it.
Go to next page.
Repeat.

2: WRITING THE BULLETIN
Find something that you can use.
Mentally praise whatever computer/news gods exist.
Start writing and curse yourself for being such an incompetent fool that you can’t even write something decent.

3: EDITING
Finish writing and inform your colleague.
Remind yourself to breathe as he/she edits the piece.
Stop breathing anyway.
Check every 5 seconds if the piece is done.
Stop breathing every time because the piece is still being edited.

4: POST-EDITING
Once you hear the printer whirr and grumble its way towards printing the bulletins, sneakily open up the file you wrote before and scan it for editing.
Spot all the changes that have been made to your story and cry on the inside.
Resolve to get better.
Stress yourself silly searching for a good, useable story in time for the next deadline.

5: MISC.
Feel guilty and useless when your colleagues ask you to find a story but end up finding one before you anyway because you’re so slow and the news gods hate you.
Feel like you shouldn’t go for lunch because your writing still isn’t good enough.
Go for lunch anyway and feel guilty.

6: AFTER WORK
Walk out of the office feeling entirely defeated because you’re a useless little git.
Realise that you actually had fun, even with the stress and everything else.
Write yourself off as a hopeless sadist.
Come back the next day for more anyway (they weren’t kidding when they called you a sucker for punishment)

 And then...
Realise that you're leaving in about a month's time.
Remember how useless you are and how much more you still need to learn.
"Oh, fuck."

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