Proud

Yesterday, after about 6 months... I went back to drama practice. Well, not really drama practice, more rehearsal for their upcoming production. Jo and I went back to see our juniors (and grandjuniors hehe) and well, we were kind of asked to help out and give advice for the rehearsals.

A few things struck me.

One was a boy who was struggling with what seemed to be his first major role (or maybe it isn't, but who knows since I didn't manage to ask him). Watching him... I saw the me from 6 months ago. I saw in his eyes the same terror that I saw in the mirror when I had to be Mrs Phua for TWCT. Watching him, I understood how he felt, because I'd gone through the same thing during TWCT rehearsal, when I was struggling to understand and work with my character. I wanted to tell him somehow that things were going to be okay, that even though he was frustrated and seemed under pressure (though from the director or himself, again I couldn't tell), things would work out alright as long as he kept calm enough. It was pretty evident how hard he was on himself.

Another was a group of grandjuniors (it never gets old calling them that, seriously) who were struggling with their characters too. Everything was working out fine except for their voice projection (we couldn't hear a thing) and their characters. Watching them, I kind of understood what they were supposed to be, but they weren't believable. Some part of me wanted to go to each of them and talk to them, understand them, reach out to them. But another part stood back because I wanted to see how my juniors would handle things.

And I was so proud watching them.

I probably don't have any right to say such a thing, especially since I didn't teach them anything, but I was so proud - they'd grown so much. They stood as leaders in their own right, and I was so impressed with them. I told one of my juniors that I felt so proud of them, and she didn't understand why. I didn't want to say anything because it would have sounded sappy and made them all awkward, and why spoil a good moment, right?

But I somehow feel that well... I'm not a leader, and even in the drama club I don't stand for much because I'm always the quiet one who doesn't really fit in with the other seniors. But even from where I stand I feel that when we graduate, we'll be passing the drama club down into more-than-capable hands. And I already see so many leaders, so many people passionate about what we do and more than eager to share the same love with the next generation of juniors.

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