rilæps

It's happening again.

 Music - louder! - 
The voices can still be heard.
Eyes - dropped to the ground - 
the shadows are still there - 

 Stop. This needs to stop.
didn't they disappear for good back then?
What happened - how - when - wait.
She knows.

 Like before, everything rushes back.
It's a tsunami of thoughts, words, sensations
and the overwhelming need to do something drastic.
Something stupid.

 Bottle, cap and store - 
for as long as possible, as many bottles as the shelf can hold.
A crack - oh shitfucknoFUCKFUCKFUCK
Run. Retreat. Hide.

 Stay in the glass sanctuary you've managed to build.
Sleep within the maze you know, walls high - strong - enough to lash out at but not break.
Leave everything outside the way it was, nothing matters now.

 This was not how it was supposed to go.
This so-called roller coaster - 
this ride - 
it was not supposed to last so long.

 Jump. Maybe you'll fly.
Swallow the red pill. Maybe you'll wake up to stay in Wonderland.
Don't you want to?
Before the dreams come to visit again.







It's a fucking neverending cycle, isn't it?
Tell the dreams to fuck off and they do but not the voices, never the voices.
Fuck up once and everyone comes back for a fucking party.
Free drinks all around, folks; help yourself to the stash.

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