"You're..."

It'd be stupid to ask if anyone here has been yelled at by their parents before. We all have, and for varying reasons.

I've been yelled at my parents before, and yeah I obviously don't like it, but I can understand. I did something stupid, you're angry. Go ahead and yell, you have the right to after all.

But what I can't stand is when the parents choose to pull in the "you're..." argument. 

We all know this.

"You're in secondary school already, why can't you be more <insert whatever here>?"

"You're in poly already, why can't you be more <insert whatever here>?"

"You're 19 going on 20 already, why can't you be more <insert whatever here>?"

My crime?

Forgetting to close the house windows before leaving for work today.

Now let me make this clear - I may forget to turn off the water heater, or the wifi, but I NEVER forget to close the windows.

Except this one time, which was obviously enough for my mum to go ballistic.

It didn't rain today (thank goodness for that) and if it did, I'd rush home to mop it all up if she wanted me to. The moment she said that I'd forgotten to close the windows I knew I'd done something stupid and wanted to apologise, promise to never do it again, and actually stick to it.

Thanks for yelling at me.

"You're 19 going on 20! Why can't you be more responsible? Why can't you be more MATURE?"

I get it, okay? I fucked up. So go, yell all you want. But don't EVER pull that "you're..." shit on me. That plain pisses me the fuck off.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if I did the same thing to my parents.

"You're 40+ already, why can't you remember to switch off the heater?"

"You're 50+ already, why can't you turn off the toilet light? Separate light from dark clothes? Empty the fucking pockets of your trousers before you throw them into the washing machine? Why do you have to be such a dick all the time?"

Why can't you be more MATURE?

Why can't you be more RESPONSIBLE?

Why can't you just GROW UP?

They like to ask all the WHYs.

So why shouldn't we ask them the same thing?

I'm not a good daughter. 

But I damn well try.

And I am sick and tired of hearing that I'm not MATURE enough, that I need to GROW UP and be more RESPONSIBLE. I'm tired of hearing that because I'm 19, the smallest mistake I make is going to turn into the crime of the century.

Don't use that "you're..." excuse anymore, that's just a cheap way for you to load ALL your complaints onto whoever you're yelling at.

SO WHAT if someone's 19?

SO WHAT if someone's in poly?

Secondary school?

Working?

University?

A graduate?

WHO CARES.

How mature/responsible YOU are depends on YOU as a person. What age or level of education you're at is SUPPOSED to define your maturity level, but it has a funny way of not being like that, doesn't it?

So wise up.

If you want someone to be more mature, tell them. Fucking TELL THEM. Don't assume that just because they're at this age or have this education level, they're going to be perfectly mature. 

I know adults who are childish little pricks.

I know children who are frighteningly mature for their age.

So enough of this bullshit. 

I accept that I'm 19 going on 20, and I accept that I need to take on more responsibility and be more mature. I accept all that.

Just stop taking the smallest mistake I make and blowing it up. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I fuck up. But I'm willing to learn from them, no matter how long I take.

And you rubbing it in my face that I'm IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE isn't helping one bit.