Unsure

Where are you?
I haven’t heard from you in ages.

I don’t feel your presence anymore.
Your usual prowling around,
growling accusations and ideas in my mind
keeping me company

Hard to believe, isn’t it?
You used to keep me company

In darker times
you were there to feed the demons, fan the flames.
And in lighter, brighter times…
You reminded me that they wouldn’t last.

When I felt utterly alone
you were there
watching me from your shadows
laughing as I cried

You were so cruel
but for the longest time you were
my only companion
my one friend

So where are you?
Come out to play
hide no longer
show me where you are.

I’ve missed you,
my dearest shadow-friend.

You’ve always threatened to take over someday.
And while part of me misses you,
another part of me walks with caution
because

You could be watching
lurking
waiting
and then you’ll pounce.

And then even I won’t know what could happen.
All the blood and fire you once promised...
Am I to become your vessel should that day comes?

She really hasn't been with me for the longest time.
The meaningless rage and violence I used to carry with me...
They're still there, just sort of faded now.
I don't know where they've gone.
And it feels strange.

Yet part of me is slightly worried because what if they come back all at once and I can't do anything to lock them up inside again?

(On a side note I haven't written anything for much too long, so please excuse me if this was terrible to read - I wasn't too sure how this was supposed to flow when I wrote this...)

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