For we must all learn to howl.

- Radio Timeclock - Radio Skills Test - Radio Talkshow - Multicam Proposal 2 - Multicam Pitch Session - Multicam Cam Cues - Multicam Pitch PPT Slides - Japanese RP Script (collated) - Japanese Class Test 2 - Japanese RP Practice + Final RP - Film Review - Crosscult Film Journal - Crosscult Peranakan Group Report - MEP Group Project (MUST START DISCUSSION) - Drama Script (TWCT - PLEASE MEMORISE LINES + CHARACTERISATION) Whew. Still bad, but not as bad as it was back then. Whew.

I don't understand. Why would anyone pray for me? I've always thought when you pray for someone, it means that they need help somehow, or their souls are in danger or something. Or that they've done something awful and need God to save their soul or something. Does my soul need saving...?

My uncle passed away.  This man I decided to hate, this man I never knew... He's gone. Cancer claimed him as her own. Forever. I don't feel anything. I don't know what to feel. When mum called and told me, I was in shock. I didn't know what to say. I don't think it was because I cared for him. I didn't know him well enough for that. It was just that I hadn't expected it to be so early. He was supposed to have 3 months. Hell, he was getting better  on Sunday. And now he's gone. I don't feel happy that he's passed on. I don't feel sad either. I think I'm just numb about it. I acknowledge the feeling of loss, that he was still family, somewhat. Even though we never really met. I hope his family is okay. I hope my dad's okay. Mum says she'll be going to help the family. And she says she'll have to check when the funeral is going to be. I might have to go on Thursday. ...

Isn't this beautiful?

Psychological warfare is never fun. It's even worse.... When it's five to one.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel. I don't even know who the fuck you are. I haven't seen you ever since my first Chinese New Year, which according to mum was when I visited you as a 1-year-old child. I think I hate you. Some part of me always has. I've always hated all of you. You never bothered with my existence as a child. Your own mother never even really treated me as her grandchild. You've never even bothered till you noticed that I was starting to mature, to grow up. All of a sudden you want me to come visit during CNY, because you've all "missed" me. Or is it just to show me off as the well-behaved grandchild  of yours? I'm sorry but no. I'm no one's grandchild but my maternal  grandmother's. And now you, uncle , you say you miss me. I didn't know whether to scoff, laugh or react with disgust. You haven't seen me since I was 1. I'm sure you've missed ...

I'm 18 years old, and I've been single for all my life. I've always been cool with it too. I've always told myself that it's perfectly fine to wait for the right guy to come along and take his place in my heart, that it's fine to not be bothered with being a part of a relationship. That's I don't need to rush into anything because the right guy will come along at the right time. "You don't have a boyfriend?!?!?!" It's amazing how one little sentence can release all the self-doubt that's been locked away for 18 long years. For some reason, this sentence bothered me so much during the whole of today. I couldn't figure out why, but I was so bothered by it, pondering over why I wasn't even in a relationship and why that bothered me so much all of a sudden. I talked to my mum about this, and was quickly reminded of why I never told her anything too personal in the first place - she told me that I was so bothered about it b...

This. Is. ADORABLE.

Basically what's gonna come out in the Multicam quiz this Tuesday. LECTURE ONE Slides 11-16 LECTURE TWO Floor Manager cues Roles/Responsibilities of the crew LECTURE THREE Video switching Parts/Functions of the switcher Audio mixer LECTURE FOUR Director cues Cam shots/movements (KNOW THY READY AND ACTION CUES, PEASANTS!!!) LECTURE FIVE Functions of light Sets (floor plan) LECTURE SIX Audio switching Mics + Pickup patterns Makeup (groan!) LECTURE SEVEN Graphics (CG) - Readability and effects Study hard, everyone - it's worth 20%!

Because tonight is one of those nights, one where all I want to do is curl up in a ball and let the cold emptiness take over me. It's one of those nights when I don't feel anything at all, and if I try to force myself to feel something, anything... I have to bite the tears back. I'm sad, so sad, and I don't know why. I talked to a friend today. We weren't exactly close, which I suppose made things easier, in the sense of sharing personal stories. I guess we're closer now, but we weren't before the bus ride home. I won't share what we talked about, especially since some of it's personal to me and the rest is personal to him, but at the end of the bus journey he shocked me by thanking me and saying that he learned a lot from me. He even said he owed  me something, simply because   I had apparently taught him something. I wanted to laugh it off, to smile and talk lightly. I guess I did, somewhat. But honestly, I felt...

He's cute, and those are gorgeous nails. I'm random and stupid and I've just finished the Japanese draft scripts, and the room is spinning so hard I can barely stand.

I'm losing my fucking mind. The above picture is quite literally me at this very moment. I can't keep fighting myself this way - it's exhausting, physically, mentally and emotionally. And it sure does wonders for my state of mind. I want to cry/cut (but I'm not brave enough to do it)/die (but I'm too much of a coward to do it)/curl up in a ball and not feel anything at all. Because this jumble of emotions is too fucked-up for me to understand. Help. Can you hear me?

Hello, hello anybody out there? 'cause I don't hear a sound alone, alone I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright but it's never enough cause my echo, echo is the only voice coming back my shadow, shadow is the only friend that I have listen, listen I would take a whisper if that's all you have to give but it isn't, isn't you could come and save me try to chase it crazy right out of my head I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright but it's never enough cause my echo, echo is the only voice coming back my shadow, shadow is the only friend that I have I don't wanna be down and I just wanna feel alive and get to see...

In some dreams, I'm constantly running away from someone or something that's chasing after me. I usually run pretty fast (or fast enough for a girl who doesn't run often), but with every step I take, it seems to get closer and closer to me till it's literally breathing down my neck. It's when I turn around that I snap awake, panting, perspiring and terrified in my own bed. In some other dreams, I'm searching for something or someone. I never really know what or who it is, just that it's extremely important to find it. It feels like something's missing from me, and I know that I'll never be happy or complete until I find whatever or whoever it is. When I wake from these dreams, it's usually with a damp pillow and tear tracks on my face. The mindless longing stays with me for a long while, too, longing for something or someone I don't even know. What am I running from? Who or what am I so desperately searching for? Will I ever kn...

- Radio Timeclock - Radio Skills Test - Radio Talkshow - Multicam Proposal 2 - Multicam Pitch Session - Multicam Cam Cues - Multicam Pitch PPT Slides - Japanese RP Script (collated) - Japanese Class Test 2 - Japanese RP Practice + Final RP - Film Review - Crosscult Film Journal - Crosscult Peranakan Group Report - MEP Group Project (MUST START DISCUSSION) - Drama Script (TWCT - PLEASE MEMORISE LINES + CHARACTERISATION)

DAD: "Do you want a piece of ham?" ME:   [No cos I don't want the fat to stick to me                                                                             and push out                                                                                                  and make me fat             because I'm fat enough and I'm already so                                ugly and                   ...

I was watching Koizora for the first time a few nights back. Yes, it was my first time. I can't believe it took me this long (the film was released in 2007) but I finally gave in and watched it. And spent the rest of the night crying in my room with a box of tissues beside me. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. AND SAD. MOSTLY BEAUTIFUL. BUT SO SAD. JUST SAD AND BEAUTIFUL IDEK. For those who don't know, Koizora (which is the shortened name for " Koizora: Setsunai Koi Monogatari " or "Love Sky: A Sad Love Story") was a 2005 bestselling romance and coming-of-age novel written by an author called Mika. The story was originally posted on this cell phone website called "Maho no iLand", where chapters were released for cell phone viewing. The story became so popular that it led to a film, a drama series (6 episodes, I'm currently on episode 2) and a manga series. Amazing, isn't it? Also nice to know that I got all of that from Wikipe...

Thinking back about last night and I'm just like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no." You're a loser, Nat. Always have been, always will be. A pathetic little loser who doesn't fit in anywhere. You're fat, ugly, stupid, useless AND worthless. You SUCK. In fact, you don't even deserve to live. So don't let anyone tell you any different. Not today, not tomorrow. Not even next week or next month. But someday.

I did it. After 4 years of waiting, 4 years of unwavering loyalty, 4 years of wasting away... I did it. I confessed. After 4 long years of crushing on the same guy, I finally confessed to him.  Okay, so here's the story - As you all know (if you read the first few posts that I ever made on this blog back when it was still known as hauntedsoulatmidnight.blogspot.com), I have had a massive crush on this senior of mine ever since I was in secondary two. The thing was, this crush of mine continued even after he graduated when I was in secondary three (he's one year older than I am) and it stayed with me even after I entered TP. Long story short - I've been crushing on the same guy for FOUR YEARS. There really isn't much else to say about that. So for some reason, he asked me to have dinner with him today. Get this: we haven't talked in FOUR YEARS. And all of a sudden he asks if I'm free to grab dinner with him today. I said yes, and was a nervous ...

Would you believe me if I told you that being ignored is an actual form of torture for me? Part of this is because I’d always been ignored as a child, as the kid who never knew what to talk about with kids her age (no one I knew liked to read when I was a kid!) and was never mature enough to join in on the “adult” conversations. Did I mention that the way I talked meant that I was often made fun of? For some reason, my inability to speak Singlish like the other kids meant that I was usually the subject of teasing and bullying until I learned how to bite before I got bitten, so to speak. As I grew up into my secondary school years, I quickly found out that I was to be the kid who would never truly be a part of the majority. No one I knew liked what I liked, and the way I talked quickly distanced me from a few. I was so glad when I met the two groups of friends who accepted me into the group, even though I didn't quite fit in.  Even now, I sometimes still thank whoe...

This is the first time I've tried writing something based on a character from a movie! Please be nice, people, I'm really shy about this! ><" Glistening, shining teardrops of white that line the windows that stay there, catching the light and splintering them into colours seven. Snowflakes drifting from the clouds, like the petals of frozen flowers trapped in time, only to break free of their spell and shatter the moment they touch the ground. Like an inquisitive child it creeps up on you, blowing on your windows and leaving its mark. Vines, leaves and fragile patterns all weave themselves into a single piece of art. The leaves, the vines, the swirls… Each has a story to tell. And should you look closely, very closely, you might see “J.F.” etched somewhere near the bottom of the pane. Like a lover it wraps its arms around you, chillingly cold but still very much welcome. The wintry air gently caresses your cheek, and...

Aren't they beautiful? I think I'd like to try catching an actual snowflake someday. They're so fragile and beautiful, fleeting beauty that tugs at your heart before it disappears. Although this is the type of snowflake that most of us are familiar with: I had no idea that there were so many different types! Jack Frost is amazing indeed :') Maybe one day I'll get to see what they look like up close. Maybe I'll get to actually catch a snowflake and see what it's like, instead of just looking at all these pictures.

I'm one of those kids who grew up with Disney classics. To many people, a Disney classic can mean many things, and I'm not in the mood to discuss/argue over this much-debated topic about what's a Disney classic and what's not. All I'll say is that the stuff Disney's coming up with now is rubbish and I want the old Disney back, and that's it. Agree? Disagree? Leave your comment(s) :) For me, Disney classics include the animated movies like the usual, Cinderella, Snow White, Aladdin, Mulan... The whole princess series sans the Frog Prince girl and Rapunzel (sorry, but they're too current for my liking...). Plus others like The Lion King and Peter Pan. Speaking of The Lion King, I don't know why but I've been watching the Lion King movies lately. I've been watching them and reliving my childhood (that doesn't include the Lion King 1 1/2 though... It came out after I decided that I wasn't a child anymore haha), and the soundtrack r...

I just took this personality quiz and the answers that came back are so fucking true that they're scaring me... Not all of them are accurate, but most of them are so true they're scary. Your view on yourself: Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love: You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very a...

I can't stand it. She's so gorgeous. They're  so gorgeous.