WARNING: Dark

You're right.
I don't know what it's like.

I don't know what it's like to cry myself to sleep at night.

I don't know what it's like to feel like I don't belong in my family.

I don't know what it's like to feel my heart break every time my dad smiles at my mum and not at me, never at me.

I don't know what it's like to want to scream, cry, break things, anything to get noticed.

I don't know what it's like to feel completely alone in my family.

 I don't know what it's like to feel completely alone, period.

I don't know what it's like to feel like if I ran off and killed myself, everyone would smile and laugh.

I don't know what it's like to bite my lip so hard that it bleeds, just so I can force the tears down my throat and continue smiling.

 I don't know what it's like to look at the knives in the kitchen and wonder what it would be like to push them into my body.

 I don't know what it's like to look at sharp objects and feel the almost-irresistible urge to drag them against my skin.

I don't know what it's like to stand in the corridor and contemplate taking a few more steps till all I know is flying.

Because I'm an only child, I don't know.
I never will.
A good friend told me about her problems today, and I told her I understood how she felt. She just said that I didn't understand how she felt at all, because I was an only child and didn't have such problems. I know that she was upset and nobody's really thinking about what they say when they're upset. I know why she said what she did, and I can understand because I'm in this situation almost every day of my life. I'm not kidding. So please be nice, and don't attempt to verbally tear my friend apart. Even though her words cut through me like knives, she's still one of my closest friends.

I don't deny that her words hurt, though. I won't deny it.

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