Formal Wear

I hate formal wear.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I suppose I should elaborate. I mean, there is a reason why I hate it.

I hate formal wear because I can't understand it. I don't get why we'd create clothes that are uncomfortable (wearing them is like wearing starchy paper, there's no other way I can describe it) and mostly unflattering.

Oh, we all know how sexy and beautiful women can look in those tight office pieces, those blouses and tight little pencil skirts that show off their asses so nicely. But try wearing it like them and you'll realise that it's really not that easy.

Sure, the blouse looks fantastic tucked all the way into the tight little pencil skirt, but move a little here or raise your arms there and you'll find yourself with an untucked blouse. Even better, an untucked blouse that's now crumpled. And all attempts to tuck the blouse back in nice and neatly only make the situation worse until you give up and keep the blouse tucked in but loose.

Now you look like a normal person, albeit one who's been stuffed into uncomfortable clothes a little too early in the morning. 

The thing is, I don't get why formal wear for women has to be so complicated. Look at the guys, for goodness sake. They just need one office shirt and one pair of office pants (and maybe a tie) and they're good to go with their office loafers or whatever they're called. 

For the girls?

We have frills.

We have puffy sleeves.

We have blouses that are so see-through you can see your bra through it and that obviously isn't gonna cut it for a class presentation. Which makes me wonder: why the hell would anyone design a piece like that?! 

And then there's the shoes. Dear god. 

You can't exactly wear flats because they're not formal enough, and you can't wear open-toed heels unless your toenails are painted a presentable colour (that means no neon). 

So that leaves you without the comfort of your sneakers, and you now have to choose between a pair of heels that make you look absolutely gorgeous but are guaranteed to make you want to cut your feet off by noon, and a pair that will make sure you survive the day in relative comfort, though you will also look like you're 19 going on 90.

You naturally choose the pair that makes you look good. Since you're already forgoing comfort for style in office wear, you might as well take it all the way.

So you've got your (paper) clothes and (cruelly gorgeous) heels, which leaves makeup as the last step towards attempting to look like the office executives you've been silently eyeing and envying. 

Makeup. Right. You can do that.

And then of course you'll end up looking like this (yeah, right):