1,576,800 Minutes


Three years.
A thousand and ninety-five days.
Twenty-six thousand, two hundred and eighty hours.
A million, five hundred seventy-six thousand, eight hundred minutes.
This is how long I have

Held onto you
Cried over you
Thought about you
Missed you
Loved you.

Even after so long, I am still unsure.
Do you think about me?
Maybe, just maybe, do you miss me?
………Screw that.
Do you even remember me?

I have waited for you.
I have wanted you to turn around and realize that
No matter where you go, there is someone here.
Someone who, unwaveringly,
waits, loves and wonders.

But even time cannot stop,
will not cease its running.
And what am I to do
When another appears?

Am I to refuse? To turn my head from possible happiness?
Am I to accept, to throw my memories of you away
like they mean naught to me?
I cannot keep running from the truth.
I feel for you what I fear to feel for another.

I have been so selfish, so merciless
in torturing another with my indecision.
But what am I to do? Who am I to turn to?
Even the one above does not hear my plea,
no matter how much I beg, how much I cry.

What am I to be tested on?
How will I know what is wrong, what is right?
The roads in front of me are shadowed,
offering no guidance, no refuge I can seek.
Even the darkness is terrifying.

Night after night I try to look inside,
to see what answers I may have.
But my heart is confused;
no answer it gives will assist me.
No advice it gives I can take.

How I wish you’d come to me,
reach out to me,
pull me from this darkness.
Then you’d tell me the answer
that I am so desperately seeking.

But then again who am I lying to?
Who am I trying to deceive?
Me
Myself
and I.

This is me finally ranting via poem. It's not much I can offer, I'm extremely rusty, so if this falls below anyone's standards I sincerely apologise.

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