190314

0948: Hit my knee against the sharp edge of a folder, was more upset about my ripped stocking than the fact that my knee was pretty banged-up.


1135: Came to the conclusion that my lip's acting up because of the office conditions. For those who don't know, I have this thing where my lips are really sensitive and I have cold sores when I'm overly stressed or if I'm always in a really dirty, dusty environment. The thing is, even stress doesn't trigger the cold sore - it's always BPPV or really bad mood swings and whatnot but never the cold sores. Those used to be triggered by stress but now they're triggered only by really dusty conditions, which would explain why it's triggered again - the office I'm sitting in is really toxic, like really dusty and all. Sigh. I'm in a major trigger zone, what joy. The thing is, now I have to figure out how to survive the next 5 months in this dusty office without triggering any more cold sores - I haven't had one in YEARS and I can't believe it's been triggered again.

1145: I wish we sold actual cold sore medicine here - we have cream for this but it doesn't really cure it, but anything else will burn a huge hole in my wallet.

1430: Can't believe I barely blogged today, been mostly filing and reading up on cold sore remedies - maybe I'll get some lipbalm with peppermint oil and see if that works.

1455: So tired, and something feels off. Don't know what it is.

1504: Wow, there really isn't anything to do at this moment.

1539: Everyone in the office is just discussing taking a nap right now. I'd really love to, but it wouldn't feel right at all :(

1544: When people walk past my desk I switch tabs from Blogger to Tumblr and then realise I've made a terrible mistake.

1545: Okay wow my aunt just asked me why I "always" go out with my friends. First off, I hardly actually go out with them because they're busy and I'm busy and I usually stay at home or accompany my parents wherever and even when we do we don't spend a lot (because then she started lecturing me about "always" spending so much money with my friends) and anyway I'm very sorry but it really isn't your business.

1556: WOW now my aunt sounds like she's having some major fight with one of the maintenance men - the problem is, they're actually just fucking talking.

1606: God dammit, I know what this feeling is now. So please go away.

1636: Never been so glad to have someone smoking in the toilet. It really does wonders to calm you down when you need it at times.

1715: You need to stop thinking so much, Nat. You of all people would know that your thoughts are your own worst enemy.

1757: It's about time to knock off, but I still feel awful. Something's off, and knowing what it is only makes it worse.

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