Tonight

I’m flying to Japan tonight. Just wanted to put that down here because I didn’t really want to tell anyone unless they asked – it would have sounded like bragging to me.

Telling people that I’m going to Japan doesn’t quite sound like bragging, you say? It just sounds like a normal holiday, you say? Well, I’m going for a month – NOW you see why saying it out loud would have sounded like I was trying to brag.

Well, I’m not (bragging, that is). And I’m thrilled to be going (as not-thrilled as I sound, though that’s because I’m exhausted and worried and in a bad place again – a story for another time), although what sucks is that I’m only going with my dad since mum’s going to be too bogged down with work to take a month off.

That and the added guilt that it’s so soon after Grandmother’s passing, though my mum and friends have told me not to be stupid because we all know Grandmother would actually be cool with it. She was the best, I swear.

So. Stuck with dad for a month can either mean a month of barely surviving not killing each other (for those who still don’t know, I’m not on good terms with my dad) or actually trying to talk to each other for once in our lives.

(There’s also the actually-killing-each-other option, but let’s try not to think about that.)

Frankly, I’m not even going to hope for one of those Chicken-Soup-For-The-Soul types of father-daughter reconciliations because that’s just dumb, but I am indeed hoping that something good might come out of this trip. Hey, we might actually learn how to get along.

On a slightly more personal note, I’m glad to be returning to Japan because first off, Japanese culture holy shit. My Japanese is absolutely atrocious, but I’m ready to go back and cry because I’m in Japan again this is too much for me to handle and also because I’ll be in a place that I actually love and somewhat understand. Plus it’s the holy land for anime and manga – I’m going to go all out, believe me.

A month in Japan will also give me more than enough time to just think. About everything and nothing. I’ve always thought of trips as time to breathe, and this is what I need right now – a breather from everything. I need to sort my emotions and thoughts out before they consume me again.

Maa, I’ll still be contactable though! Email, LINE, Facebook and Meow – anything’s good as long as it runs on an Internet connection. I just feel (more than) a little upset since I won’t be around to celebrate Milk’s birthday, the old hag.

The flight’s tonight, and I’m excited and nervous. I’ll still be blogging whenever I get the chance to, though! And Kira’s condition still stands – why do I even listen to her ugh =.= still, it’ll be good to just not think of certain people (or should I say person?) for a while.

Ja.